God bless us all.

At the end of every year, when the new year's coming, I can stop but looking back of what the past 365 days have brought. Regretting most than being proud of it. Some asks me to not do that but to focus on what is ahead. Plan for the future, he said.

The problem is I don't plan.

2010 was a year. And so do 2011.

Happy new year. God bless.

Drive, party, drink, eat, pray, love and fuck safely.

To kill a monsterous mocking bird

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

I bet any mom would have thrown me if she found out what an ugly monster I'm turning into, now. But she's not.

Being one of the brightest kids, to be honest, I made too little progress of all my siblings. I failed to live up the expectation.

Not even mine.

Lately, I ended up praising others works way too high, freely. Way too often. I tend to get impress of all the single thing I laid my eyes at. I started to understand what Shrek is in Princess Fiona's eyes.

Well, that's a good sign. That's mean, I've endured what once being a bad habit of mine.

Thank God, I am now an arrogant-atheist.

Rules #2 : Denying truth.

I hate it when someone come and complain about how bad their days are. Ok. Admit it. I'm not a good listener. But seriously, when you yourself got your own problems yet to be handled, the last thing you will appreciate is getting struck with another.

Mentally or physically.

So if you ever want to start a fuck-my-boss-is-such-a-bitch conversation, why don't you first start with;

"Hey! How's your day, beautiful?"

And please make sure that he really is deserve that 'beautiful'.

Need and wants.

I want ftsnc to not be just another blog. I want to make something out of it. Something.

I want to have colleagues.

I want to have someone making review of all the available blogshop out there. I want to have one guy spending his evening at Baskin Robbins interviewing that Cik Epal girl. I too want to have someone doing review on the upcoming events for the weekend. I want someone to go out there capturing that cute lookbook.nu users up close.

I want someone to talk shit about the world. Someone who isn't me.

I need a fucking rest.

Rules #1 : For waking up in Sauna.

Girls,

if you ever wanna get laid again, please, and I mean please, don't you dare either switching off the fan or slowing down it speed, no matter how fucking freezing you are. There's a reason why God blessed guys this broad chest and all the wise-men out there, they didn't invent blankets for nothing.

Unless you first got their permission and it's Mr Ed Cullen that you slept with.

Damn.

You, God and Me.

It really is interesting to watch some of you people out there bullshitting about something that I don't even know exist. Yeah, being unknown, it was easy for you to say 'aku sekolah agama dulu, aku tau semua bla bla' and all. Ok. That was me. I'm an ex-boarding-religious-school student.

The one who love to curse, yeah!

'I want to correct you sir' or 'I can't stand it when you're messing with my belief' ideology seem so fucking lame, dude. Just go back home, lock yourself in, get naked, stand in front of your door-sized mirror and think about your previous three days.

Maybe you are one hell of a good guy. Fine. Make it ten days then.

Talk about God, here's an old story by an old friend. I make it as-short-as-you-can-possibly-understand. Hopefully.

Peter is the nicest guy on earth, died in an accident, send to heaven and been rewarded with a Ducati Super 1000 while other heaven-ian use only their barefoot to travel. Because he is the nicest guy in the heaven. Nicest. The angels told him that.

One day while he was full-throttling in the kilometers 80 Seventh Heaven Expressway (SHEW) , he got whipped by a Ferrari. Fucking red-blazin-smokin-hot Ferrari.

He angrily question the angels decision to let other heaven-ian ride a Ferrari when he is undoubtedly the nicest guy on earth and in heaven. All without knowing that it was God driving that limited edition Ferrari.

Haha. God me?

Nope? Fucking go and watch Tron Legacy la.

Checked, if you are a fucking Mayan.

Since we only have a year left before 'the end of the world', I really think I should reveal myself. So that in the other world someone would stop by and say 'Hi, you're the super not cool guy right? I'm a fan of you' to me. A girl perhaps.

Believe me, in an isolated world, a fan, a friend or even an asshole is damn welcome.

Wait. Maybe there is some kind of internet connection up there. If so, I should start saving some punchline for my next writing.

Ah, and I'll try to keep the same address. Just fucking Moogle me.

I should bought you a bed at the loser hospital instead of a bottle of lorazepam.

I was watching the Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah with my colleague last Wednesday. I am a big fan of the director actually. From the likes of Rombongan Cik Kiah Ke Sukan Komanwel to Rock and to Zombie Kampung Pisang and now this hilarious comedy-thriller, Mamat Khalid never fail to amaze me.

One thing I love about his movie is how he included social critics in most of his movie. Ok. I really am not good at this movie review thing. Let alone the social critics stuff. To even try to write one is already make me feel like err.. shit?

But, who give a fuck. Right?

Seriously, a guy named Abi Hurairah in a red high cut All Star shoes? Fuck. That's a hell of serbanitas funny, dude.

Now, back to what I supposed to dicks-cuss. If you watch this movie, there was a scene (at the warung) where Pak Jabit openly critics Pak Abu for his lack of leadership quality and yet still want to compete for the post (the way he promote himself and all). I can't stop laughing because that I think is fucking brilliant.

Forget about all those politicianshit. Let's just swing your head around. How many of you guys got a thirty years old homo sapien sitting at the end of the conference table talking about the company performance and questioning a fifty years old finance manager for his stupid ten-millions investment approval? How old is my general manager?

Half a century.

Because a young stud like me didn't have enough experience eh? Lacks of quality? Aha, seniority. How can I skipped that nice part.

Bullshit!

Seniority itself is about narcissism and off course, dictatorship. Why? Because you failed to accept the fact that you yourself is a fool. You won't admit that some stud opinion is better than you, that is a fool. You can't accept the critics thrown at you, that is a fool. A young stud talking about world is wasting of time eh, well, that's bullshit.

You wasting your time when you first decided not to use that pretty brain of yours. To at least fucking choose what you want to read.

And yeah, Husin should have been select as the ketua kampung instead. Fuck with the no-SPM rule.


See. I've told you that I'm nowhere good in this movie review stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got some 'praktikal' thingy to do.

Ha-ha-ha. Epic funny.

When I'm Gone.

This is some kind of inheritance game. I got the idea last night while checking some hot chicks on the facebook. Lol.

Ok. Serious please.

It should start this way. I will put my blogger ID and password in an entry entitled 'When I'm gone' which will be automatically published a week after my last update. Lets say if my recent update is today, December 15th 2010, then in the draft box there will be an entry that will be publish automatically in one week time, December 22nd. The one that have my ID and password.

Got it?

So the date of this auto publish update will move onward according to the date of the recent entry. So if I failed to come up with any update in one week time, the entry will automatically published.

What I need you to do?

Here is how we play. The first person to view the ID and password entry is require to log in into my account and change my password to what his favor. Be it kimnamill, pussycat, cesc4, westlife or else. He then will take my place as this ftsnc author. Continue with i'msosupernotcool nick or change it to a new one. As what he favor.

It is also up to him to whether to continue with this game or not. But it would be an honor if he decided to stick with this stupid plan.


Haha. Fuck. There's no way I'm gonna do this.

Or maybe this is a good idea. Anyone?

Footcall : To win is to draw yourself a smile.

I never write under the influence of drugs, alcohol or any shit. I too have neither a fucking schizo nor an insomnia. I write of what I think I want. And that's fucking different with writing of what I want.

Because it's what I think I want.

I think football and love have so many things in common.

Winning a match is not the ultimate satisfaction. It's a kick start. It's more like succeeding in asking a girl of her phone number. Or maybe (if you are in a relationship) getting yourself your very first kiss. A long creepy smile but no, you don't cum for that. Not just yet.

There just so much ahead.

Well, I am an always gooner. The one that got their asses beaten last night. Hard. And I am fucking smiling. Fuck.

Hey. It's a kick start, remember?

Bloggerboy : An idiot is always better than an idiot's idiot.

Thanks to my housemate who decided to waste his four gigabyte external hard disk space for some youtube vid, I got a hand on The Arrivals series. It took me twenty something episodes before I decided to give it a break. Such a waste of time.

It's not that I don't believe in it. I think I do. But I prefer to stand over my mom advice; when the thing is beyond your reach, don't you dare to fucking talk. This is also what keeping me away from all the political swing around. I love you mom!

Something you should know about me is when I watch, I didn't just watch, I learn. I googled the Winklevoss brother after watching The Social Network. Same it goes with 'crayfish' in the Rock N Rolla.

I googled.

So for the upcoming Anugerah Juara Lagu Finale, I expect Noh to wear a Macbeth t with the all-seeing-eyes logo printed all over it. Bunkface and Faizal Tahir gonna show up with some orthodox jew hats. Yuna then will come on with a high 'sanggul' and a designer dress that will make her look like a fucking nun.

Who else?

Oh. That AF girl will play the lady in red as what have been done by Alyah in the previous year.

Fuck eh?

Wise guy, they got humbled by the rules.

I'm a man of reputation.

Some call it hypocrisy because I did something that I never used to. Or put it this way; I'm way off from being myself.

I pretend.

Yes. I am coming early for my first week of internship. I'd be as punctual as I possibly can. I act nicely to my new colleagues. No stupid words and no bullshit talks. A week of hell, I would say.

Next week is next. There, another song is playing.

If the guy is stupid enough to call, then the girl is bullshit enough to follow.

So as told by a friend of friend.. Please note that when it come from a friend of friend, then there will be lots of exaggeration and additional fact being included so that the story will sound much better than the first told.

Ok. Where did we stop?

Oh. As you can also see in a movie, there were this scene where while the hero was dying, he picked up his phone and instead of calling for paramedic he opted to call his girlfriend. This sweet-dying-boyfie then talked about how he love the girl so much and told her to take care of herself, be gentle to his cat, do not litter and all. When he is gone, yes.

No. The girl didn't know that the guy was dying.

Sweet.

And later, the girl found out that her boyfie is dead. A drug overdosed. Killed in an accident while escaping himself from a bunch of troopers. A shot in the head.

Knowing that, some sort of love ignited in the girl soul. She learn how lovely her death boyfriend was. And how deep her love was. The girl take care of her self as what she was told. She bath and brushed her teeth every fucking hours. Buy a set of recycle bin and placed it in her room. From blue to orange to brown.

And the best part is she didn't date anyone. Till she fucking died. All by herself.

Ah. Sweet.

The Social Network movie review.

Kidding. No Mark Zuckerberg film review. I'll let others do that.

But hey, have any of you watched God on Trial? Google it.

I think one point missing from the movie is how unfair god is in treating all the geeks and super-nerds out there. They're all good, kindhearted, respect the older but still being left with no taste of real pussy. Singular.

And to add insult to injury, some even got knocked up on their first time.

While there, on the other side was an asshole, slurping all the so-called conventional ladies and yet ended up with no fucking responsible to burden with.

So God will put them in hell eh?

Fine. Let's just skip this part. Heh.

Good guys, when they fuck, they fuck hard.

Example?

Look at all the religious-bound families around you and count how many blessing they got.

Pardon me.

Women nowadays are replaceable. You can easily dropped one here and then pick another a few feet ahead. With some lame pick up lines, off course. But guys I think are irreplaceable. I mean just look at how many girls whining over their break -up.

"I still love you"-"Please come back"-"I'm missing every moment of us together shit"

Fine. I'm off the topic.

But my point is - when doing something approved by the law don't you fucking hesitate.

The tribe has spoken.

I'm trimming my blog list to only a few selected number. Which mean, some of you guys who got your blog listed before might not be on the list anymore.

Why? Because I don't think it's necessary for me to list down something that I don't really have time to read (harshly speaking; prefer to read). That really is a hypocrisy considering that, by listing, some might think I read all their stuff while I in fact didn't even bother to click my goddamn mouse to view theirs.

A moral boosting abuse.

So if you guys think that my conduct was interrogating and somehow hurting your feeling, please feel free to unfollow me, delete this blog from your beloved list and flag me up.

Thank you and fuck you.

Sorry. This too isn't sweet as it always be.

I got a friend who was once enjoyable.

But after a few hard time with her ex, he somehow turn into a bored religious-obliged guy. Yeah. Kick me on that. I really mean it.

It's recently when he decided to turn against an invitation of going back home with his boyhood-school-university-class mate. A girl. Not easy on the eyes, he said. As it is not nice for a girl and a guy to be alone in a car of a three hours ride.

Bullshit.

This is not a fucking naughty america video that you will both ended up sucking each other's genital.

Fuck.

Like a perfectionist looking for an imperfection.

I always do or talk about something that I never try. Usually with the purpose of showing everyone the funny side of me.

Let's say when me and my friends spend our night at the mamak talking rapidly about our days and all. Me, I don't smoke. Never in my life. (Don't get fool by the color of my lips. There were born that way.) So when I asks for a cigar and one of them coolly passed it to me, others (who realized) will start laughing.

And I laugh too.

Lame. I know. But I thought we were supposed to laugh at others mistake.

I've seen this girl-in-guy's clothes with chick hold on to the lining of 'her' pocket.

When you hate something, the proper thing to do is to avoid from becoming one of them. So if you are a lesbian that hate guys so much, why don't you stop trying to look like them?

You don't see any Jews dress as Nazis, right?

Pathetic.

Sit down, smell the coffee and be a good worker.

I've been in the industry for quite a time. Most as a part-timer. And through all these period (as a part-timer), I arrogantly consider myself a good employer. Don't you dare asking me why.

Good.

I woke up this morning with a pretty bad feeling.

Do ask me why now. Good.

Because I spent my time waking up in the middle of the night more often than having an outrageous dream with Maria Ozawa. Fuck. As my alarm buzzing out and with that pretty bad feeling, I got up from bed, do a one till eight count act and off to bath.

Now I really am trying hard to keep the goddamn reputation with less than half eyes open.

Arrogantly, still.