How do I spend my new year eves?

It was around 11 o'clock when I got this pain feeling in my stomach. I decided to go to the staffs room and take some rest. I laid there for a few minutes but the pain still hit. I feel like a hand in my stomach, grabbing and squeezing my inner part. It hurts so damn much. I took the wine red table cloth and quickly turn it into a blanket. I closed my eyes.


I feel like I'm going to cry. I never had a history of gastric or appendix as I recall. Only a normal stomach ache before. Nothing serious. I wandered at the safety first box and found some tablets. Panadol. Swallowed it. I closed my eyes again. Trying to ease the pain by having some sleep. Let my mind rest. But the pain wasn't going anywhere.

I decided to call it a night. I rang my brother and asked him to sent me home.

The fifteen minutes ride was a hellish one. I got this tingle feeling in my throat and asked my brother to pull of quite a number until we were in front of the Sri Sabah flat. I thrown up. Next to this black Honda Accord. All my night meal was there. Chicken. Rice. Veges. Haha. Yucks!! Disgusting.

I spent the night rolling, screaming and praying for this pain to ease. With no sleep at all.

The next morning I went to Hospital University Kebangsaan Malaysia. Just to do a simple check up. You know got some painkiller and etc. But the other thing happen. I was detained . I was required to do blood test, urine test and got this two pines of sodium chloride pushed inside me. I was suspecting for having an appendicitis.

The only good thing is they gave me the painkiller which subsided the pain I've suffered.

But they have to wait for my blood test and another report from specialist first. Around one o'clock the specialist arrived. And a good news arrived too. I wasn't having any appendicitis. It just a normal stomach ache. Even the symptoms was different. Maybe the first doctor was playing some kind of prank one me. Damn you doc.

Except for her touch on my belly which feel so nice. Haha.

They decided to give me some more painkiller and this tablets to kill my dizziness. And they told me to get some rest. Which I think sleep will be a proper word. I got back home and do as the doctor said. Sleep til around eight o'clock to wake up with this dizziness feeling not sure from the effect of the previous medications or from this long sleep.

So if you guys asks "How do I spend my new year eves?".

I will says lying on my bed with my lappy, a bottle of mineral water and a white pack of this so bitter tablets. Urghh. But I still watch the 'pertunjukan bunga api'. From my window of course. Duh. I'm thinking of throwing up again. Need to rush to the toilet. See you guys later.

Happy new year everyone. God bless us all.


School girl farewell : It takes the one to have the other. And a proclaimation.

One of my colleague has parted from my department last night. She's quitting since the school holidays were going to end. She just fifteen by the way. Just got her Penilaian Menengah Rendah result few weeks back.

Being the youngest and the only 'she' in my department, she fitted herself very well. And the best thing she did on her last day was crying. She just keep crying for the whole night. Sobbing and sobbing.

Our laughs and teases did nothing to stop her.

That's her. A girl who me and my fellows know for only a month or so. Long enough to create this emotional abuse on the name of friendship.

Owh please. I'm not crying. There's a dust fall straight into my right eyes.

My last entry was quite a big hit. Thanks to Kawie. I just wanna tell you guys something. One of my biggest secret should I say.

You know the 'S' mark you saw on my forehead. It actually wasn't refer to single, it refer to survival.

Haha. Pretender.


Told you I got a lot of ideas here, in my mind.

I met my old classmate last Thursday. He was accompanying his girlfriend all the way from Pahang to Shah Alam, to appeal for her un-success Degree application. They were around town so I invited them for a dinner at the nearby mamak stall.

We were into some talks when he suddenly asked me this;

"Kau single lagi ke? Gile kebal. Haha"

And I was like uh, shut up man. Duh. I hate to answer this question. Fed up already. What's wrong with being single?

The only reason why I still being single till now is because of this;

"True love is hard to find."

I believe in this. I honestly think the harder I try to win a girl's heart the greater satisfaction I'll earn. And hopefully the eternity it is.

Falling in love was easy. Learning what love is need a whole lot of experiences and understanding. I always fall in love. I can easily fall in love with the girl I met at the BB plaza. Or at the traffic light. Or even at the petrol station.

But to utter the three word, I just don't have that guts.

Maybe she likes me too. Maybe she accepts my words. For how long then? Three months? Six? A year? Before we realized that we weren't meant to be together and we should give each other a break. Separated.

Think again, maybe I'm just trying too hard,

and I do believe in 'love at a first sight'.

Oh God, how I wish You can just drop me one of Your angel and make her fall in love with me.

Yours truly,
Love Doc.



I do prefer a virgin even if I'm not.

Have you prepare your new year wish list? All the thing you want to-have and to-do in 2010. You are so lucky because I'm sharing mine today.

Let's start with what I want to have?

First of all, I'm thinking of finding myself a black leather jacket and black slim-fit trouser. Also equipping myself with one or two rockett t-shirt. Or badger at least. And I found this shiroi neko things. Impressive as well.

I browsed thorough my drawer. Owh this shirt. This one is three years old already. And this pants too. It's outdated. No body's wear a wash-out-and-tear jeans anymore. I should get a new one. The one on displays at dior boutique really catches my eyes.

And my wallet. My shoes. My handphones. Or maybe I should get a new friends too?


We human, always love the new things.


Another monday blues. It's my off day and I'm totally out of words. Got a few ideas reels in mind but too tired to compose it. So I just make this entry. A quick one. Beside new year is just around the corner.

The whole weekend was like hell. Busy. Tired. It hurts me, for not able to do the daily blogwalking and reply your comments. Really sorry.

But after all it's just me being me.




This is the continuation from the last entry.

My other friend is Adam.

He come from a poor family. His father works as a Pekerja Am Rendah and his mother is a fulltime housewife. He spend his teenagers life in a boarding school since he was included into the PPRT school's program.

Being the eldest of five, Adam sometimes had to use his scholarship money to finance his brother and sister studies when his parent can't.

He remember searching for a coins behind his locker just to get himself a pack of Maggi. He also remember tighting his belt to avoid lunch.

Adam parent never intervent in anything related to his life. And realizing the difficulties that his family faced day by day, Adam decided to work after his SPM. He then found a works as a mechanic at a workshop.

Five years working there, Adam then promoted to more higher position.

It didn't take long before Adam decided to start another workshop. His own workshop. And his workshop now is the main sponsor of 1Malaysia F1 car.

Don't compare the already seen Bob-easy-life and Adam-hard-life. Compare the missing experiences that both guys loose. The one which they'll be very proud to tell their grandchild about it in the future.


Three months stranded in a land of no man and he still screaming "Anybody's here?"

I have two old friends.

One of them is.. Let's just called him Bob. Bob come from a rich family. His father was one of the most successful engineer in the state while his mother works as a lawyer.

Bob is the only child in his family and by being the only, Bob can just has everything at a single point. He even got his first car; Honda Civic as his birthday present when he just eighteen years old.

To make sure that Bob will succeed in his life, his parent has planned all Bob life.

They sent Bob to international school before make him continued his study at one of the high rated college in the Kuala Lumpur. Everything was working well for Bob. He graduated with flying colours and then became his father successor. Taking over his father business.

I'll tell you bout my other friends in the next entry.

By the way, It's Christmas season. And it's about presents. Lol.

So who want to give me this pair of Macbeth Jack's Mannequin Studio Project shoes? Would you Mr Santa? Would you?



Your words like a hundred tone lorry placed on my shoulder. Damn it's heavy.

Around 4 am, the van arrived in front of my house. The arrival was loud enough to wake all my neighbors from their weekend dreams. There stood at the front door waiting was all my siblings and some of my relatives. All sad for a reason I'm not sure what it is.

My elder brother quickly put on his sandals and headed toward the van. My younger brother followed him with an umbrella in his hand to protect him from the earth downpour. After a little talks with the driver, my elder brother then called the others out to the ambulance.

My relatives and friends whom hang around at my living room came closer. Lend their hand to lift something from the van. I just watched the scene from my bedroom window. Not really know what to do. Not sure what was happen actually.

The truth is, I honestly didn't feeling well for the last couple of days. That's why I prefer to be in my room. Read some books, ate my medications and off course have some rest. It was doctor suggestion after all. "Have some rest". And he kept telling me to do the same thing every time we met.

Hey, there he is. Doctor Ghani with his.. Wait. I remember her. She was my former music teacher at my secondary school, Miss Aida. I remember how she guide us to become the winner of the 2004 school marching band competition. She must be in her fourty now but she still beautiful.

I'm so glad to see her again. And she must be glad too. I need to meet to her. We haven't meet for how long? 10 years? Besides I haven't yet apologize about the lost instrument cases during my senior time. I was involved with the cases but nobody found it till now.

I grabbed my handset and push my door wide open, headed straight to the front door. I wandered around the living room trying to find her when I noticed a cry and doa reciting. I look back to see my siblings and this group of people surrounded something on the floor. I moved a bit closer, curiously.

And the view shocked me.

There lied on the floor, in that white dress was no one but me. Pale but still with a smile on his face.

For those who read this blog from the first entry, I'm sure you realized how my way of writing changed. Some says that it was me being mature. But I think it's just me practicing hypocrisy.

So again. Fuck!!


On the verve of losing, I closed my eyes and think of another match.

Fighting and arguing is a norm. No matter how small the problem is, we'll end up blaming and pointing fingers to each other. Some guys do accept their lost. But some don't. They rather die than accepting the fact that they weren't on the winning side.

Some would just prefer to play it safe. Turn around and walk away. Pretend that they saw and heard nothing. But deep down, their angst heated to the highest level. High enough to burn a group of Viet-Kong army. Ok. That's so hypocrite. Next.

From this small argument, a small tension created. Then it become bigger. And then booom!!


Errm. War for me was nothing than watching a TV series. We watch the drama. Heard the stories. We cried. We sympathies with the hero break-up. We cheered when the hero beat the bad guys. But then come commercial breaks and what did we do?

We changed the channel.

I'm not a soldier. I never experience war. And I'm not an anti-war-reformist too.

But I'm old enough to feel what losing taste like. And I don't mind to taste another.

I thought I draw an ACE but it turns out to be a JOKER.

What a fuck? Lol.


Lesson learned : HARD.

Today we'll use a HARD word as an example.

We started with this girls who always have a hard time in her life. It's hard for her to find her true love. It's hard for her to find a nice Shiseido mascara during the Year End Sales. Or to find suitable blouse to wear with her new LV handbag.

How about this guy? He too have a hard life. He have to struggle to get into university. He struggled to prove to his family that he can live his own life. He can succeed just like his sisters and brother. And make his family proud.

And this family too. They on their to watch some movies. They says it's hard to get the movie ticket during weekend. So they just bought a gold class ticket. It was once a year family gathering by the way. Beside it's hard to gather all the family members when most of them live overseas.

What's hard for me?

A single mother selling nasi lemak in the morning and cleaning toilet at night to raise her six beloved children. That is hard.

We see thing different from others.

Owh, I met Jay Chou during the launching of his new movie, Treasure Hunter at GSC Pavilion. He's gorgeous. I'm not a big fan of him but do watch some of his movies, ie: Secret. And that actress with him just now. She's a damn hottie.

I'm gonna take some sleep. I reply all your comments and do the blogrunning later.


I'm so not good at breaking heart. Do forgive me.

Well yesterday was a hell of a day. I was so damn tired. Back home around five. I was thinking of doing an entry about love, instead I finished my morning dreaming in front of my lap top. So I failed to make any entry yesterday. Which mean failed to make you guys think again. Lol.

The whole week was quite messy actually. I missed this gathering handle by this nice friends of mine. And failed to get this chick a movie ticket. Duh. Did I feel guilty? Yes I am. I just rang the "sorry song" again and again. Gave them my very best reasons and excuses.

Oh. I know they gonna forgive me. Let just forget about it.

But this one un-ignored feeling really bothered me.

We always think that this person used the sorry word as an escapade for all the mess they've made. Okay. Not we. Just me. I always, always do that. Why?

That's because I rarely experience that other side. The guilt side off course. I do be on that side for sometime. But it just not enough to teach me how haunted it is to utter this cheap word.

Do you think a guy who dumped a girl (whom he shared a plenty of sweet, great, happy time together) can just continue his life happily ever after, with saying sorry? Vice-versa. Or do you think a father who failed to provide enough foods for his family can sleep well at night after saying sorry to his wife?

They never do if they really mean it.


I should try this myself. The dump part. Haha.


I survived this war because I ran. Not because I fight. You can call me coward but you can't change the fact that I still alived.

Sometimes you need to let that timid mind of yours do all the talking.


Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. And I am a..

Wise man off course.

I found some of my blog-friends expressed their concern about the limitation of idea in producing a good entry to be post on their blog. From what I've learned during my one month and a half old blogging experience, you don't have to make thing hard for yourself just to post a nice entry.

Ideas come from everything. From the big screen at Golden Screen Cinema to the smallest blogger comment you view on your Iphone. I basically write most of my story from what I see around me and some just come from my wild imagination.

You don't have to be a parent to talk about child. You don't have to be a lawyer to talk about act and section. And you don't have to be an angel to talk about heaven. You just have to be yourself.

Just sharing okay. Erk. Not really. The honest reason is because I too are out of idea. I was thinking to put that Wise man off course only as my entry when this idea hit me. Haha. And now I finish posting an entry just by talking crap. That's pretty impressive.


By the way, I quote the title from this girl entry.



I'm too honest to cheat death.

"Kita hanya merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan"

Okay. To be honest this proverb really grown in me. It makes me think twice before planning on something. It makes me considered the need of planning when I already know everything has been written and decided.

No I'm not against this. I believe in Qada and Qadar. I know that all our fate has been written and decided before our first breath. And it isn't harsh to say that we were just like that actor and actress on that big screen, scripting and playing the role given.

Why the hell we need planning for? Why can't we just let it happen?

It's because that's damn bored. That will only make you tired of yourself. That will kill the phrase live your life. And that's surely make a people like me either end up in mental hospital or include in the suicidal case. Which one do I prefer? None of both.

So what should we do?

Simple. Try to fight the fate. It's fate that you have brain tumor. It's rumors when the doctor says you only have six month to live. And it's fate when you died just three days later. But why don't you try and make it seven? Eight or even a single year? Six month and a day was an absolute accomplishment.

Then again. It's easier said than done.

Enough with fate. Next stop; Humanity. Just ask this Mr Jake Sully. He should know better.


I wish I really am mr suitable for everyone. Duh.

I was doing a blog-running as usual when I bump into this recent domestic scandal. No. It's not Mr Woods. He's international. This is a domestic one. Local. Plus why would I care if Mr Woods is having an affair? He's not my favorite sportsman after all. Still I have to admit that this guy is really good in swinging stick and finding hole. Lol.

Ok. Back to the main topic. The domestic scandal. I just heard that blogger attitudes were a little out of control lately so the government will make an amendment on the previous Communication and Multimedia Act 1998. It's basically because the rumors that the BW1 (Blog War One) will be happen any time soon.

I sigh and pull my red and black stripe blanket higher and fuhh.. go to sleep. Haha.

What? What do you expect from me? Go out there and be a hero? Urgh. Give me a break. I just got home from a ten hours job dude. I'm damn tired.

Bye the way, if the war really is happen, can you save those with an "A" on their chest for me?


What have I learned from anonymous's myth?

"I learn how to fly high by watching you fall deeper down. I may laugh but I never enjoy it. Not even once."

As a normal human being I don't only learn from my mistakes. I learn from everybody's mistakes. Especially those with self pro-claimed friends. And it's more interesting when they too learned from my mistakes.

I neither didn't have enough money to buy them a house in Beverly Hills nor clever enough to help them succeed in their study and career. I just have all this from-happy-to-bad experiences to jot down. Maybe that's the least I can do.


Just for your much needed information I make a research on what it really mean by anonymous and why they picked that word instead of silent-reader or whiners or dickhead. I think they didn't created this word for nothing. Lets see.

I just turn the word anonymous upside down and inside out when it turn out to be this;

annoy + muso or annoy + omus.

So I just concluded it as a house/phrase of irritation? But not all of them irritated.

Owh I'm so good at literature now. I should start writing a book and get the royalty to furnish my old days. Lol.

Damn I'm hot. Fufu~ (sing a love song)


Signs were shown. Lots. I just can't see it..

When was the last time you said to yourself that you want to change? From bad to good, off course.

For example you just cheat in your final exam when guilt feeling wash thorough you and you start to think to never ever do that thing again. You think you should be honest to yourself. But then?

Or you've done a bad thing and you really regret it. You promised yourself that you will never repeating that same mistake. And three days later you were back into this conflict yet again.


Last entry was a hell of metaphoric. But it's never a real one. It was something that played in my mind. And I just write it. What exactly I'm trying to say is "Gua pun cakap tak serupa bikin". Darn simple.

By the way thanks to Lumut for that lovely prizes. Really appreciates it. We met during the PLORE event held at Pasar Seni yesterday. Lots of bloggers came. Me as usual play hide and seek. Want to publish it here but my Nokia 3310 camera wasn't working.

Oh. I remember Lumut says "Kau lain la dari apa yang aku expect". Didn't really know what's that suppose to mean actually. Lol.

My english blogging teacher started to mark my entry recently. So I have to write with a dictionary and an english grammar book in my hand after this. Wattafuck?

Get a life dude.


I point my next-to-the-middle finger at you. But the rest pointing me back. A metaphoric entry.

A ringing phone bring me back to life. That's when I noticed there was someone stand right in front of me. But it was a bit blur. The dim light portrayed only a few part of his face and body.

"Who are you? How can you be here in my room?"

There was a weird look on his face. I draw myself closer and reach for his hand. He too. Our fingers touch. He was so cold. I can feel it. A number of questions rushed through my mind.

"Are you sick? What's the problem with you?"

To my surprise he just repeating what I says. Annoyingly. And it's really pissed me off.

"What the fuck with you dude? Why in hell you keep repeating my words?"

He stood there still silence.

"Dude I'm talking to you. Answer me. Or are you deaf or something?"


"Fuck you."

I totally lost it. My palm has already transformed into Mohammad Ali boxing glove. I look at him closely. Close enough that I can see the shape of him. And that's when i realized.

"A mirror? I was talking to myself all this while?"


I considered this a good verbal twatting.

I've a chat with one of my Chinese colleague who think that prostitution were just like other commerce transaction. We pay for their services. They provide it. If there's no demand then there's no supply.

I just nodded my head half agreed.

But then he made me totally agreed when he says that all of us are just human. We do make mistake. Some might recover from it but some might just lost in it. But one thing for sure is that we're still human.

No matter how bad they are. How dirty she is. Or how prudence we are.

Human should treat each other as human.

Sometimes I don't need a three pages entry to tell you guys how i feel. A word or two will be just fine. Much like pictures, words also tell thousand stories. Lets see.




I rather spend the weekend with a bunch of asshole than attending Grammy with a troops of hypocrite.

Me and my brother were on our way back from work when we saw this group of guys singing and playing guitar next to the cybercafe somewhere along Chow Kit road. Being a lad who enjoy music so much we didn't mind to have a look on their activities. We park the car in front of the already closed workshop and headed toward them.

There were seven of them. I can tell by the look that two of them were Indonesian. The rest were undoubtedly Malaysian. Without any hesitation we just say hi, a little handshake and grab the empty place next to them. And to my surprise the were all friendly. Talkative I should say.

The guy on the guitar were playing some old songs. Santana all time favorite, Black Magic Woman were next. Duh, this guy was unbelievable. He play it beautifully. Thing were getting hotter when he hit the Somewhere Over The Rainbow keys. Gosh how I love this song.

Little did I know that the cybercafe was actually just a camouflage for the gambling activities that been run inside. The guy in the snow caps told me since he was one of the person in charge there. He offered me a place too. Lol. But I really don't give a damn about it. I'm just so happy to watch this guitar guy rocks on.

Time passed by a pretty quickie. It almost six a.m and these guys just know when to stop. After a little talk and chat we continue our short journey home. Safely.

What a way to end a lousy night.


Just slit my throat. It'll hurt me more. Breaking my heart was nothing.

She just stand in front of me. Head held up. I look into her naked eyes. Remember the last time we've been in this situation was just two weeks ago. And it was a real mess up.

I keep staring. Waiting for the answer from that sweet lips of her.

Still no answer.

So I take a deep breath and walk away. Leave her with my own misery. Wishing that she'll stop me before I disappear into the dark night. So I can give her another chance. Another apology.

Only if she deserve it?


Okay. That was completely self monologue. Don't mind it.

The fact is that all guys were born with their own ego. It's in their vein. It's either you girls live with it or learn how to tame it. And both considered a sacrifices. Big time.

Damn it. Why should I sound like a love doctor at six o'clock in the morning? Weirdo. I click on the taskbar. My winamp was playing Mr Curiosity by Jason Mraz.

Erm. No wonder.


Why I didn't blog yesterday? Live entry from the graveyard.

It was Saturday. Me along with two of my best buddies were having an unimportant discussion at the nearby mamak stall. We were about to discuss on the global warming issues when this guy come approach us.

"Hello bos, boleh beri saya dua minit tak?" he said then take the empty sit next to me.
"Emm.. Takpe lah bro, kitorang tak minat la all this thing." Rayme try to escape.
"Just two minute bos. Boleh ar?"
"Errm." I think of another excuses.
"Two minute saja."
"Ok la. Two minutes." Rayme unwillingly let him.

Without giving a damn care about the uneasy look on our face, this guy start babbling about his product. Showing us all the files, catalogs and articles taken from the news praising and telling how good their products are. The two minutes passes but this guy still didn't stop, still persuade us to have a hand on the product he offered.

After a long five minutes, he stopped.

"So macam mana bos? Interest tak?"
"Takpe lah bro. Thanks."
"Haiya. Penat saya cakap-cakap. Luorang tak mau pulak. Lain kali cakap awal-awal la kalau tak mau la." he then started to mumbling.

Duh, this guy is so annoying. He was the one asking for our time and now he was blaming us for wasting his time. And just to make thing even worse he uttered some harsh words. To us yes. I then lost my inhibitions. I take the fork in front of me, gave the man a glance look and then..


"The fuck is going on with you man?" I asked him. The bloods dripped from the end of the fork stuck at his chest. His white polka dot shirt started to turn red. All the guys around was like screaming shock with my action. Some of them backed away. Unfortunately for me there was a group of policeman in the stall and they hurried to my table. One of them pointed his gun to me and BAMM!!. He shot me right in my fucking head.

Ok. The last part was a total lie. Lol. This is what happen actually.

I take the fork in front of me, gave the guy a quick glance and then started to eat my Maggie goreng mamak. My two buddies just shook their head. Not wanting to waste any more time with this really stupid guy. The guy packed his things and move to the next table.

Thanks man. You just ruined my weekend mood.


First = (one) + (th)

My mom once told me that I nearly break my arm when trying to do my first walk. I fall straight onto the floor from a couch. Thank god I'm alive.

I first drink Horlick when I was in secondary school. I puked for no reasonable reason. I stop drink it till now. Copy and paste?

My first work, as a kitchen helper at the school's dining hall wasn't a nice experience too. I got into a fight with a group of the student there and one of my colleague got fired because he punched that stupid asshole.

My first love was with my... Erk. No comment. Next topic please.

I remember my first time creating blog. I write. Nobody view. Nobody read. And I don't think nobody care.

Not all our first were a good one. That's why we were given second, third, fourth and so on.

But it's sure unforgettable. That's why the first cut is always the deepest.

Cope with it.



No new entry for today. Please wait. Or click here.


Judge vs Impression. Simplify.

We do judge people around us. I for example personally think that the guys with so metro sexual look was nothing but gays and the girls with show-more-skin-than-cloth-style puffing cigar was a bitch. Negativism.

Remember this 'don't judge the book by it's cover'. Can we still use that?

Nowadays first impression always come on top. Try go to your interview with fuck-face look. I'm sure you'll be doomed before you heard your name being called. Unless you applied for the cast-away role. Shit.

I always simplify 'Get out of here and leave me alone' by saying Fuck Off.

Harsh. Innit?


Wise guys loosed?

Wise guys disagreed on almost everything. I mean every single thing. That's why they have less friends. Just ask me. Duh.

Sometimes I just don't prefer being

I don't do poppysmic too.

Complicated huh?


Girls can't just understand it.

I've been doing some blog-running when I found the comments about guys who will ignore their girls when they're watching football match. I can't remember which blog it come from and under what topic it is.

Hate to say it but hell yes we will.

Sorry girl but guys are so much into football. It's our passion. Football make a guy a man. No matter if they're die-hard one or win-side one. We're just bind to this game.

Yes you will find some of us who never ever prefer football. Nope. No comment bout that.

So please girls stop sharing your shopping experience while we watching football. Otherwise you don't mind telling it for the second time. Later. After the match off course.

We just need that 90 minutes.

Do you know David Beckham? He was the first man landed on the moon. Duh.


Choosy : No wonder.

Ok. This is a true life time confession.

I don't eat kuey teow so I don't enjoy wandered around looking for the best char kuey teow in town. I won't mind follow but make sure the restaurant offer other foods on it's menu lists.

This is bad news for my family too especially my mom. She has to cook two different meals when kuey teow is one of it. Thanks mom.

I also don't eat petai. If my mom included petai in her sambal udang, I'll then try my very best to separate it. Tempoyak was another meal on my no-no-list. Same goes with budu, cencaluk and tempe.

But I loves durians so much. I love woke up early in the morning searching for the fallen durians.

I first drink horlick when I was in secondary school. I puked for no reasonable reason. I stop drink it till now. Can't even stand the smell of it. Still.

I tell all this story to a girl before. And she was like "Whoa. You should be grateful for all the thing you've got."

Actually it's not about being ungrateful. It's about truth. It's how I speak for myself.

Or maybe I'm a choosy freak. Too choosy I think.

I select everything that relates to my life. From foods to clothes to even friends. Girlfriend too. No wonder I still have the 'S' status tattooed to my fucking forehead. Damn.

By the way, I rather choose live in this fake 'dreams' than saying 'goodbye'.


I Learned A Lesson And Listen Too. Gotcha.

Fuh. This is the first entry after the Hari Raya. I've been offline for only three days I guess but my blog already started to smell like shit. Nope. That's not my blog. That's my friend's futsal shoes. Dude, I'm gonna throw it away. No kidding this time.

It's always a good experiences going back to my hometown. Being with family. With friends. Being far away from this busy white-block city and dive into the green fresh environment. Away from facing what it seem like thousand dolls controlled by one hot autocratic finger called Mr Selfish.

Ok. Stop this self-hatred-monologue.

Now I'm back. And back to work directly. Night shift off course.

Owh. My young gunners were beaten again. Harsh. This time by the true-blues-clues. Shit man.

I love the 1Malaysia campaign on the tube and also on the radio but not the song.

I heard this one guy phoned the HotFM and dedicated the Siti Nurhaliza song and one-unknown-song to his boyfriend. And all his friends too. Erk. Maybe I miss-heard him. Pardon me mate.

Opss. I just discriminated. Am I?

Some guys said that working under pressure can bring the best of us. So I think this is the best of me since I'm so into pressure right now. Lol. They're lying.

By the way, I watch The Twilight Saga a couples of times already. Disheartened.

I need to sleep. I'll do blog-running later. After I woke up.

Good morning.


This one is in Malay.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha.
Do take care.
Be back real soon.

[this is an auto wish published entry]


Between flashing lights and 'L' word. I'm ADD.

It always my dream to be a rock star. You know have your own rock band. Traveling to see the fans. Goes on tour. Big concert. Flashing lights. All the groupies were like chasing you. And rock the stage like there was no more tomorrow.

It's cool rite?

But deep down I know that it was never going to happen. Why? Because I never have that talent. I never know how to play the guitar. I don't know how to play other instruments. Let alone being a singer. My voices sucks man. And it's sucks big times.

I've tried playing a guitar before. It didn't work. So I gave up. Then I tried drums. Still didn't success. So I give that a break too.

But giving up that dream. No way. I'll never do that. It'll always be my dream. Now and forever.

So girls keep asking why does some guys like really hard to say that 'L' word? It's simply because they are not that easy.

Take note. Duh.


Babe, you such a sweetheart.

Did you ever think of a word that unexpectedly end your bad day?

Let say your boss just rejected your silly indoor-fish-pond proposal. After that you missed your daily lunch time with your girlfriend. And she was so angry that she don't want to pick your call or even reply your sms. To make thing worst you lost your parking ticket and you have to argue with Nepalese security for two hours. Later on your housemate call to inform that he want you to move out from the house.

Wow. That's really sucks. Truly is. OK. Continue.

Then come this one word that brighten your day. Unexpectedly. But bright enough to lift all the stressed feeling you've been carrying the whole day. To put the joy back on your side. Got that?

Now. My word of the day is

Thank You.

Look, I'm still smiling. Duh.


Self Portrait : Crisis

Shit. I started to lose my
identity. Help me find it back.


I smile when I'm happy. I laugh when I'm sad.

I'm so busy lately. I've started my part-time job already. As a ____. No you don't need to know that. It's pretty easy but it's damn tired.

It's hard for me to do any blog-walking nowadays. Just visits those on my blog-list. Reply your comments. All this were done at five am. Post new entry at around six . Then get some sleep. Woke up at two pm. Online. Reply your comments. If any. Get ready to work at four pm. Works. Works. From five to three am. Reach home around four am.

And it keeps repeating. Bored huh?

Ok. I'll keep it to myself then.


I hate this feeling. It make me curious of everyone around me. And it built a kind of wall that separated me and you. Them and us.

If only I can find a magic stick to make it disappear.

So I just smile when I'm happy. And I laugh when I'm sad. Doubt no more.

Feel it? Fuck.


This one is nice. And it isn't a dream.

I walk through that dark street. Alone. With no guide. All my mate were like four miles ahead of me. That's when I found this beautiful trees. A lots of it.

I brought all this trees back home. Planted it carefully in my garden. It was quite amazing actually to believe that a normal guy like me been given the chance to grow the trees.

I saw this trees grow. Produced such a nice fruits.

I observed it. Fertilized when it required.

This trees accompany me. From my bright sunny day to my dark rainy night. I was bound by it.

One day I decided to give this trees a name. So I start thinking.

And thinking.

And thinking.


That's it. I'll name it "Friendship".

Mellowed here I am. Damn.


I dream of you last nite. A bad one.

I woke up that morning. Looking at my 25 ringgit watch. Damn. It still early. It's 2 in the fucking morning. I feel my body sweat. My blanket was like being taken out from the washing machine. Without a spinner of course. Wet.

Huh. Bad dreams surely.

Gosh. What is this? Another bad dreams. It's been three days in a row. I lay myself back on the bed. Trying to be in the sleeping mode again. It didn't work. I kicked my blanket off me. Feeling the sensational of the cold air washed through my naked body.

I locked my eyes to the empty ceiling while my mind travel to find the lost part. The bad dreams. But I failed. I remember nothing. Not even a single piece. Why? Why it's so hard for me to remember that dream?

I wish I could share that bad dreams with you guys. But I just can't remember it.

I'm glad I can't.


Drop Dead : Credit

This has nothing to do with drop dead clothing. Or drop dead gorgeous. What the heck is drop dead gorgeous? I've no idea. A film? Oh. I see.

My blog was getting crowded day by day. Thanks to ah fatt, razman, cinta lea ixora and green
successfull marketing strategies. Salutes you guys.

I gonna get some rest. Yes from writing. Thinking of going to Hawaii but from what I've seen at the cinema last night, Hawaii has turn into some kind of hot-pot. So change of plan.

New Zealand seem find but my ex was still there. Duh.

I've made my mind. I'll just have a holiday around Malaysia. Next stop; Pavilion, Kuala Lumpur for the next whole month. Damn.

Shit. I sound like a stupid comics artist try hard to finish his near-end dateline works. I really should take a month off.


A friend for example.

I want to tell you a short story. But I should think of a name first. Ali? Abu? No. Too typical. John? Okay?

Okay. John was a best friend of mine since I was six years old. He was like my big brother at that time. We do lots of good and bad thing together. I remember stealing comic books and fishing hooks at Uncle Ishak shop back when we were in standard four. Even worse when we got caught bullying the principal's son in standard six.

I then went to the boarding school but he choose to continue his study at my hometown school. Being home wasn't helping a lot for guy like John. He started to get into drugs and illegal race. And even bad he started to drink and fight. His academic performance was awful.

After the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia, John didn't manage to get himself into any university. So he decided to go out looking for a job. That's when he saw the police interview advertised in the newspaper. He phoned me. Asking whether I interest in the police job. I rejected him. Telling him my mom won't let me. John then try his luck. And luckily he success.

John was working under the narcotic department somewhere in Sabah and recently got caught for bribery and misconduct charges.

Stop provoking. Stop condemning. Think outside the box (wtf!!).

Here. Read my lips.


Why : Still?

I write my entry in English just to remind myself that my country was once been conquered by that damn British.

Should I say still?


Sorry baby. But you're no 2 on my list.

That's what I'm going to answer when my future wife ask me this question.

"Will I be the only woman you love?".

And hopefully she wouldn't dump me for this. Haha.


Because stand proudly at number one is my beloved mother. Gosh. I love my mom. After what seem like uncountable (dude, does this word exist?) things she had done for me, she truly deserved it. Okay. Now to the sad part. Go get your tissue girls. I lost my father when I was only seven years old. I was in standard one at that time. And my mother was nothing but a full-time housewife waiting to give birth to my younger sister.

Can't you imagine how hard it's to raise six cute little child without having a man watching her back. And of all the hard times she have been through. Only God knows. Sympathy? Keep it. It's been a while since we need that. No. I'm not going to tell you this kind of story. It'll make me cry just to think about all this. Let alone share it. Dude. Are you crying? You're so pathetic.~inner voice.

Why? Can't guys cry?

Hell yeah we can.

Take it or leave it. Duh.


Self Esteem : Defused

I read an article in the magazine today which stated that guys can't just accept when his spouse are doing much better than him. I mean in term of salary, career and etc.

I look to the wall. There's a mirror hanged. Stared.

What the fuck!!

Achtung!! Now I get it.

Nah. I don't know why but it seem that my last two entry wasn't really well delivered.

Those last entry was supposed to be discuss about promote vs provoke. And hell yeah I think I've made it. And the post about the contest was all nothing but a joke. But I think some just can't understand it or maybe worse stand it.

Hate it? Sorry but I can't just be more serious.

By the way, I'm thinking of collecting a hundred follower before the year end. So please promote me to your friend.

Got that dude? Promote. Fuck.


Promote vs Provoke

I just want to inform you guys that I've been selected as one of the finalist in the esoksemalam contest. You can read my super-not-cool story here. And then vote here. You can also read other contestants stories and vote for them too (hate me that much huh?). Terms & conditions apply.

Enough with contest. Back to the main topic.

I tell you a story (promote) but you hate (provoke) it.

Got it? It's damn simple.

Contest : Find A Me A Soulmate?

Since there are lots of blogger out there doing a contest for their fellow blogger and readers, I'm thinking of doing mine too.

This contest is easy. There's no need of birthday guessing. No need of essay writing (sorry lumut). Or even pictures flying (sorry bulan itu aku).

Here is how you can enter this contest:

All of the contestants need to find a girl and introduce her to me. This girl can be introduce by leaving a link (related to this girl) in my comments box. Or suggest her to my facebook account. Or you also can held a small blind date for us (better). I will select eight finalist who then will be on the running to be selected as my SOULMATE.

And here is how it will be judge:

I will be the jury and I'll decided everything. I don't accept any objection since it is my future we're talking about. I'll try my best to be as fair as possible. Bribery is not allowed. But a huge amount of money deserved a consideration. Haha.

See. I told you it's easy. As simple as that. So what are you waiting for? Send as many entry as you like. Closing date is on 30th November 2009. All the best.

I expect a minimum of 300 entries for this contest. So don't let me down. Haha. Damn.


Love & Lust : I choose Fuck. Ok?

Let me ask you a question first. Do you think Romeo was the right guy for Juliet? I mean do you think both of them were meant to be together? If yes why did they have to face such difficulties? Why can't they live happily ever after? Huh. Didn't I say 'a' question just now? Whatever.

Actually I never know the full story of this two love birds. Didn't even try to Google it though. But one thing for sure that both were from Shakespeare wise mind. Unfortunately he didn't live long enough to answer my wise questions. Haha.

Let see. I met a girl at a Mamak stall. Erk. No way. At the Pavillion Kuala Lumpur. Ok? Such a hottie. Cute face. Nice curve. Bump here and there. A hottie rite? Haha. I ask for her number. We go on a date. Fall in love. Got married. Have children. And then die.

Wait. How can I differ love and lust?

Maybe I'm just too naive to think about love. Damn.


It's a nice post. Was it?

I was bored that night so I asked my Pengkid classmate out for a dinner and she says,

"Dude, are you gay or something?"

Duh. What the fuck?

You might read this at my profile before. Yes. At the hoodie display. Before.

Sorry. I just can't get along with you.

I'm out of procrastination. At the moment.

I went to a Mamak stall last night. Morning actually. Around 2 am or something. Along with my three other friends. That's when I saw these two cute little girls. Cute. I'm telling you man. Real cute. Then I saw another two boys riding a motorcycle came and picked them up. Mat Rempit? Consider it a yes. Haha.

I said to myself. "Damn girl. You deserve more. Much more than that."

Gosh. Am I being discriminated?

Sorry to say but all of us discriminated. I discriminated. You discriminated. Its either you say it loud or you play it by your heart. But again we have to. Sometimes. Or maybe every times. Everywhere.

Because we're just human. We only love good things.

Believe it.

Should I put the example? Nah. Better not.



Tengok. I do know how to speak in Malay.

I put a snoopy picture on my display. Yes I'm muslim.

I've just finish commenting on Fatt Chin Choy entry on how unfiltered his blog is. I love this entry and I think I'm in the same situation.

I don't hide my identity. I don't have to do that. Why would I do that for? I'm not a government condemner where every words I said will put me straight to jail or qualify enough to climb onto the ISA list. Let alone the guy who write his entry from the unknown cave somewhere in Bora-Bora desert.

My words come from everything. It's all about what I see. What I feel. What I've experienced. It's just sometime when I think back. What if the readers know me. Or related to me. Or there are people that I've to face everyday reading my story. That's when I think I've to have a limit.

It's the same with my old one. It was like everything I said wasn't true anymore. I've to control my angst. I've to limit my craziness. I've to portray my blog-post the way I portray myself in the outside world. I've to put my aside my opinion and then what? lets the crowd do the talking. Shit.

Duh. I'm not being hypocrite. And it's not about hypocrite anymore. We live in the world full of hypocrite this whole time. Ask yourself. Wouldn't you mind telling the bad side of you to your dream girl on your first date? Or how many of you spend the days doing something that you don't like faking a fucking smile on your face?

Enough with the hypocrite. I went to a small event held by a group of blogger last month. It wasn't a gathering but it's more toward an art event and I was there to support them. Support their art. Support their passion since I too was into this kind of passion. A lots of blogger came. None notice me. Maybe because I was too handsome in my display picture. But I don't give a damn about it. It's never my intention to come there and have my name announce on my arrival. I went there to show my support.

It's not about how many fall-ow-err you have. It's about what you wrote. It's about honesty. If you can't being honest to your crowd, be honest to yourself at least.

Dude. Your kite was flying too high. It almost hit the sun. Bring it down a little.

This is what happen when I let my hand do the talking. Fuck.

It's small. So what? I'm proud of it.

Nah. I got you.

Actually this post has nothing to do with the title above. Nothing small to talk about and nothing proud to share too. I just playing my card. Trying to see how many of you guys interest in this kind of topic. And is it working? You tell me. Haha.

By the way, have you ever ever bump to this couple? One guy carrying a pack of tissue and the other guy is guiding the tissues guy from table to table. From restaurant to restaurant. Nicely say, selling it. Or badly say, asking for donation. "Dude. It's still nice. Say something bad. Cruel. Evil."<--- inner voice

No. I'm not going to say anything bad bout this guys. And I don't have anything against them. Not even a single small size of hate toward them. Now I'm talking bout small. Damn. It just, sometimes it appear to my mind the thought of whether this guys were real or something.

My housemate once told me that the guy guiding the tissues guy is actually a volunteer. They help this tissues guy by guiding them to their customer. They help them keep the money. Then another thought hit me. What if the guiding guy have bad intentions? What if he take some money for himself? This tissues guy won't even noticed.

And what if both of them were lying?

While I was thinking of all the bad thing about this two guys, another thought hit me. What if they're both real? What if I just give the money to them? And stop being curious. Lying or not it's all between them and God. At least I've done my part.

So I took my RM1 note and gave it to the tissue guy. Freed along my curiosity.

Just RM1? It's so small dude. You can't even buy a Teh Tarik with that amount of money. Bloah..


Rebel? No I'm not.

When you were wear out or tired of something, I bet you says"Fuck". You said "Fuck You" or "Go Fuck Yourself" when you hate someone or you want them die. And when you feel weird or shock, you'll say "What the Fuck".

Holy "Fuck". This offense word can be use to anything. Good or bad, It's you who decide.

I found this fill-in-the-blank quiz on this guy blog. I've change it to my new version since his was boring. Chill mate. Haha.

I'm so horny, baby. I need a good ____.

A. Buck
B. Suck
C. Duck
D. Luck

I'm no rebel. Mind my language. Yuck!!

What's your name again?

Remember your first day at school? Your teacher ask you to introduce yourself along with your nickname, hometown and ambition. Or didn't you remember introducing yourself to your senior, waiting for them to give you a specific name which you will carry through out the whole semester.

I've got this freak name while I was in secondary school and in university.

1. ....
2. ......
3. ...

In your dreams. I'm not going to share it with you. Duh.

One more thing when people gave compliments on any works or anythings that I've done. How should I reply them?

Should I say this:

Thanks. I'm the man rite. I'll surely win it.

Or should I fight it? Like this:

No. Yours are way better. Seriously. You gonna win it.

Pardon me Mr... Em. By the way. What's your name again?



I was in such a depressed mood tonight. Rejecting my girlfriend request to sent her home was one thing not to be proud of but not be able to attend her mother's birthday party was a shame. I'm sure she's hurt with my act. Gosh. It's been a while since our last date. And it's been a while since we last say that L word to each other.

This is all because of that girl. I barely known her. Not even close to know her real name. Just a few talks through the net and that's all. I found her through her electronic diary and we start to you know, get to know each other. I really enjoys reading her story. Her experience. Her honesty. Her angst.

It wasn't long before my girlfriend found out that I was having this electronic relation with this girl. I was posting some update to my electronic diary when she buzz through my yahoo messenger, keep asking me about the girl that commented on every entry I've made. I try to explain to her. Telling that this girl was someone who interested in my works, my art. But she thinks the other way and that sicken our relation. We haven't text each other ever since and today was the first time after the incident.

I drive straight to my office. It's already half past ten and my office was already empty. I made my way to my room. Switching on the table lamp while lightning up my Marlboro light. Damn. It's really stressing out here. I've got lots of thing to finish off. Works. Dateline. Girlfriend. I felt like shit right now thinking that I can't be there with her tonight. Thinking of how rude I've been act for the past day to her and my colleagues.

I blew this unhealthy smoke all over my room when I heard something. I stay still. Focus on the whispering sound. I looked around wondering if my friend was there trying to chicken me out. Shit. Nobody's here. I'm sure that the parking lot was empty when I came here. But I'm so sure that I've heard someone whispering my name.

I look at my laptop. Focus. Hell yes it's from there. It's from there. My laptop is whispering my fuckin name. Quite sure that the whisper come from there, I put a slight press on the space bar and the windows starts. I reach my mouse and point it to the Mozilla Firefox icon. And like the possessed guy in the Smallvile TV series, my fingers quickly hit the keyboard.


God. What was happening to me? I'm so addicted to this girl.


"blog esoksemalam best kerana.... it got lots of hot chicks viewing this page days and nights."

"blog esoksemalam tak best kerana.... the owner is famous than me. Ouchh."

Shit. I hate slogan.

Bedtime Shitty : Vampire

It was a breeze Tuesday morning. I was alone by myself trying hard to finish this vampiromance thriller for how many times i can barely remember. I too keep my face-that-book update at the same time having need to minimize this media player classic every single time the notifications appeared.

And this headphone is killing me. It was so tight. Shit. It's hurting my ears. My friends right there so eager to stay awake waiting for his out-of-form team battling against surely relegate the blues. Yeah rite. His eyes were half closed. I can see it from here. Get a bed dude!!

God I've got no idea to write bout anything tonight. I'm thinking of entering this contest made by this fellow blogger but due to my lack of creativity in writing I decided that it is better to keep it to myself. Besides did she accept an English entry? I better check the rules and regulations one more time.

"Dude, wake up. It's 3:50 already. The match has started. Wanna see or not?"

Where were we? Owh. The contest right. Can we just skip this part. It wasn't that interesting anyway compare to this crazy baseball scene. Damn they're fast. Their speed and their ability. Gosh. I'm sure lots of you must be imagined of owning this kind of ability while watching this movie. Hell no you won't.

Oh no. Here come the bad guys. Nah. Only three? What did you guys waiting for. Go and kick their ass. Stupid. Good guys always wasting times. Eh, should I be this excited? I watch this 3 or 4 times already. I even know the end of it. Lol.

Wait a moment. My phone is buzzing. It's my one-hand-clapping girlfriend. I need to take this.


I'm back!!! and the movie ended. Still I can't think of anything good to write. Shit. Hey what about this. Three losses that you face by being a girlfriend or boyfriend of a vampire. Sound great. Lets see.

3. You can't make any birthday surprise since they can read your mind. Duh.

2. You need to finish all the veges alone during meals.

1. They don't sleep. You sleep alone. If you know what I mean. Damn.

Why can't i think of anything great this morning? I better check out Maria Ozawa new vids on Tube 8. Who knows if that will bring me some inspiration for my next post. Lol.

Sign out.


"It's 2-1 already. What a fool. Go find another club man"


He Such A Coolie

This guy put one-word-entry on his blog and the whole crowd start to talk about it. It was a damn cool rite. I bet he can be the politician guy someday. And surely the good one because we already have lots on the other side.

Nice. I'm going to make one-word-entry too next time and lets see how many person have interest on it.

One word dude, COOL. Keep up.

Didn't I sound too gay?

How Do Guys Spend Their Weekend?

"Excuse me mate. I got a question here. I bet you can tell me. Cause you look like a real guy though. Cool guy. Is that what you call it mate? Innit? Aite. Here's the question."

What do real guys needs to survive their weekend?

What? Have you ever think about this? I saw this on one of my ex-housemate shirt and it list three major thing that a real guy needs in surviving their weekend. I wasn't going to list the same thing but this is from what I've experienced. Enjoy mate.

This the five thing that a guy needs to survive a weekend.

No 5: T-shirt, short pant and boxer.

No 4: Football match.

No 3: Mates who also enjoys football.

No 2: Nearby mamak stall.

No 1: A WIN off course.

I've just finish watching the-not-so-cool devils got their ass beaten by the true blue. Mr Blues whipped their asses hard. Although I only predict a draw for this. And now the top two is conquered by the Londoners with us got a game in hand and surely lots of goals different. Come on you gunners.

In ARSENE we trust!! Damn.

Love : Trust Me

Love is when you fall for someone. When you always think of that particular person or thing in every single thing you do. And you will do anything for this person to make them happy. You will try hard to show your existence. Show how much you care. Show that you'll always be there when they need you. Show that you can be count for anything.

Trust me. I know this.

Shit. I'm being mellow again.

First Post : Rejuvenated

This is my third time creating a blog. One of the blog still actives but it was actually more into Malay language. Another one has been deleted due to some fuckin problem. Didn't think it necessary to share it here.

I'm thinking of starting a new life. A blog life where I'm thinking of being honest. Being straight in addressing my opinion and my feeling. I'm hoping of letting you know my real story. How my reals life story playing. How uncool i am. How fuckin loser I've became.

That why I'm going to give you a little description on how my life has gone so far.

It was all started back around 1986 when i was first coming into this cruel world. My dad off course a man and my mom surely a woman must be the happiest person in the world that day. I was the third from six and we were in a state somewhere at the north at that time.

It wasn't long before my family moved to the east cost region. To the place where it hard to find a shopping complex unless you're willing to spend hours traveling to the nearest city. It was all jungle around and the thought of bumping into wild animals always cross my child mind.

My primary school time was awesome. I was always one of the smartest guy in the class. Maybe because my mom was there. Not as a teacher but as a gardener there. I've lost my father when i was in standard one so my mom have to take all the responsibilities. Depending on a palm oil income wasn't a clever idea to save stomach of seven. My mom was a hero. Clap-clap.

After successfully graduating my primary school, my mom send me to a nearby boarding school. This is where my life really get started. Here i started to learn a lots of thing. Unease to say lots of bad thing. Most of my B-side experience come from here. But that is what make my life so special. So interesting.

My end product wasn't a great one. I fail to get into any university after the SPM result announced. But it's not all about my result. It was my stupid mistake for didn't manage to get my hands to the form. Fuck.

I ended up working for a company serving food to the boarding students. This last for a quite number of times. And it was hell lots of fun. Being a young blood with lots of money in hands did so less in contributing to my already dark life. I quit after nine months due to a little clash with my stupid boss.

It was a fasting month when i got a call up from this public university offering me an accounting study. And hell yeah i accept it. I'm going to be a student again. But it all didn't work well. My student life wasn't that great. I've to extend my studies and my mom have to support me for the whole semester. Shit. I'm such an L.

After graduating, i fail to get myself into the degree level. I was in such a depression mode. I try looking for a work through job street and etcetra but there's no offer come. I'll spend all six months doing nothing at home. I watch TV for the whole days. Eat when I'm hungry. Sleep at anytime of the day. I was in such a mess.

Finally i got an offer from this same public university. Although the course offered is different from what I've learn for the last three years, I'm still going for it. I've just finish my second semester last Monday and now hoping that I'll still be there next semester. Wish me.

Fuck I'm so sleepy. It's 4:40 am already. All my mates must be enjoying their wet dream rite now. I'm going for it too. I'm thinking of having Lisa Surihani accompany me tonite. Damn.