Your words like a hundred tone lorry placed on my shoulder. Damn it's heavy.

Around 4 am, the van arrived in front of my house. The arrival was loud enough to wake all my neighbors from their weekend dreams. There stood at the front door waiting was all my siblings and some of my relatives. All sad for a reason I'm not sure what it is.

My elder brother quickly put on his sandals and headed toward the van. My younger brother followed him with an umbrella in his hand to protect him from the earth downpour. After a little talks with the driver, my elder brother then called the others out to the ambulance.

My relatives and friends whom hang around at my living room came closer. Lend their hand to lift something from the van. I just watched the scene from my bedroom window. Not really know what to do. Not sure what was happen actually.

The truth is, I honestly didn't feeling well for the last couple of days. That's why I prefer to be in my room. Read some books, ate my medications and off course have some rest. It was doctor suggestion after all. "Have some rest". And he kept telling me to do the same thing every time we met.

Hey, there he is. Doctor Ghani with his.. Wait. I remember her. She was my former music teacher at my secondary school, Miss Aida. I remember how she guide us to become the winner of the 2004 school marching band competition. She must be in her fourty now but she still beautiful.

I'm so glad to see her again. And she must be glad too. I need to meet to her. We haven't meet for how long? 10 years? Besides I haven't yet apologize about the lost instrument cases during my senior time. I was involved with the cases but nobody found it till now.

I grabbed my handset and push my door wide open, headed straight to the front door. I wandered around the living room trying to find her when I noticed a cry and doa reciting. I look back to see my siblings and this group of people surrounded something on the floor. I moved a bit closer, curiously.

And the view shocked me.

There lied on the floor, in that white dress was no one but me. Pale but still with a smile on his face.

For those who read this blog from the first entry, I'm sure you realized how my way of writing changed. Some says that it was me being mature. But I think it's just me practicing hypocrisy.

So again. Fuck!!


avid gunner said...

i don't get it. where the hypocrite part lies?

Rowena Chasez said...

u make me confuse..
who was the one that died??
aiyaa dear..
are u ok??
knape cm emo2 je sjak 2 mnjak nie??

chah~ said...

erm.. sape..?

Cik Bumble bee said...

I get what you are trying to say. It make my tear drop slowly.. huhhuhuhu...

Koyuki said...

kamon kamon
hidup la

~ narissa ~ said...

~ wei..sapekah..?? kompius nih..

kAkUnA_tHe KeLip KeLiP said...

i saw you yourself,telling people how's your life was in a past..how you been through it,until today's entry..

and now,is it the end of your story?was it..?

damn,im gonna miss you!

Wanita Itu said...

apa di atas apa di atas??

kenapa nih??

MuHaMMaD86 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MuHaMMaD86 said...

mcm ada "sesuatu" melanda diri anda en superxcool tp "sesuatu" 2 di cover dgn ayat2 dlm stiap entry...i understand but i dont want to guess...sastera btul tajuk 2...jiwa lembut ni...hahaha

whatever it is...Be strong,i'll pray da best for u

fitriah said...

this entry is really..something..
meremang bulu roma bace part last tu.

Anonymous said...

nak aku pon wat pengecualian ke?

humaira hadzarami said...

ehm, takot nye :(

dila said...


dila said...


dila said...


dila said...


zella said...

great story...
but... i dont want u to die!

h.a.n said...


i was crying :"(

f.a.r.a.h said...

i agree dgn avid gunner. hypocrisy? wic part is it anyway.

somehow i think it's cool. u just telling others a story by ur own way. gud. ;)

anyway, da habis jaga keamanan dunia ke sampai demam2? ;p

Aiman Toreq said...

you done something horribly wrong that it's enough for you to imagine your own death?


Anonymous said...

The funny (ke?) Larasephia said ;

mamat nie kan..dh sah2 tidur x basuh kaki mlm td nie. kan dh mimpi dasat

*shrushhhhhh* !!

ok, saya dh simbah air rendaman stokin minggu lepas satu baldi atas muka kamu, sila bangun sekarang ye.

lain kali, bangun solat subuh.


Now, the Meany Larasephia said;

there were plenty of grammatical errors in this entry. You should consider to register ( and revise!) for MUET next year. and go get that band 6 for God sake! Don't die just yet. This world need an unsung Hero like you (and me, of course.)

Judiene said...

hey dude
sorry for my dissapearance
i'm not goin anywhere la, it just my laptop had some probs so i got it fixed

btw, about ur entry
really, i found it something, but i dunno what it is
it's like ur describing u being dead and everybody gather round ur corpe..

is it??

cikmemy said...

ko sakit ke weyh?
aku agak konpius bace entry ni

bell nabila said...

what's on your mind actually??i dont get your point in this entry..hahaha..too deep to discover the real meaning..

JieJie said...

wah...i cant get it..tersirat n tersurat..am i rite?im the straight reader.cant imagine something beyond ma mind..
however.its a great writng..

imHepPie said...

owhh bising dri umah ko la tdi haisyooo tganggu mimpi indah aku kaya raya tdi huuu

Dak Wan said...

Hmmm... a new year returning, with it come it new agenda. New life perhaps?

seroja jingga said...

too me its a great writing..i just love everything! seriusly!

i'msosupernotcool said...

avid gunner:
dat part u hv to find it..
i cant just tell..

Rowena Chasez:
i'm ok2..
no worry..


Cik Bumble bee:
here's a tissue..

i'm trying..

i'msosupernotcool said...

~ narissa ~:
owh rilek..
bace lagi..

i miss u too..

Wanita Itu:
di atas?

dis is not jiwa lembut bro..
dis is jiwa kacau..

it's sumthin to read..

i'msosupernotcool said...


humaira hadzarami:
ini bukan citer seram..


sooner or lter i'll die..

say sumthin..
n stop cryin..

i'msosupernotcool said...

its time for bumi to take care of me..

Aiman Toreq:
almost right..

to the so called funny larasephia,
i wash it alredi..

and to the mean larasephia:
after quite sumtimes now, u start talking..
i wnder??

i'm not dead yet..
so dun worri..


yes it is..

i'msosupernotcool said...

aku ok..

bell nabila:
owh it's nothin..
it just a story..

thx for reading man..
me too I'm straight..

kita jiran ke?

i'msosupernotcool said...

Dak Wan:
new life..

seroja jingga:
n i luv u too...

husna hadzarami said...

hmm.. betul la.. jiwa kacau kot.. chill k :)

h.a.n said...

stop crying until my tears was dissapear ;)

Anonymous said...

yeah! your writing is change
but nice to read
i like u
i lap u


JieJie said...

hei...jgn pkir bukan bukan..huhu...straight reader ok..:D

pisey said...

jadi aku pun fake la ni?
berubah banyak je writing aku.


seronok kot;

saniza said...

janji kita bahagia .....

i'msosupernotcool said...

husna hadzarami:
ye saye chill..

i dont dserve dat..

ah fatt:
i luv u 2 fatt..

aku pon straight..

seronok kan?