Role playing.

Up until this time, I never managed to complete the 'People Who Inspire You' section provided by the facebook people.

I saw quite a number of musicians in my mates column. Both local and international. P Ramlee, Sudirman, Thomas Matthew, Billie Joe Armstrong, Dan Smith, Jona Weihhofen, Jay Chou, Siti Nurhaliza, Bob Marley and John Lennon for examples. You see, even some tattoo artist was there on their list.

Truth is, I can see this people greatness. A great musician, a revolutionary and all.

I just can't see how this people had inspired them. Apart from how they dressed the same dresses and sing the same songs.



We were right in front of the cinema for the midnight show, still arguing which movie we should watch. There were three movies available at that time; JB's Never Say Never, A Chinese Ghost Story and World Invansion : Battle of Los Angeles.

I already watch the alien-fight-human-for-water action two weeks ago so to put my foot there again will be a big NO and since I wasn't a big fan of chinese movie, I voted for the Bieber.

And off course, lose out.

So my problems with these chinese horror flicks were that they always put a beautiful hot chicks for the ghost role, too much martial artses and flashbacks is a must, especially when the hero is dying.

Ten minutes and two of my friends already left for the World Invansion. Great start mofo!!

One thing impressive however, was that I finished the movie with a boner; something that usually happens only when I heard Bieber's "baby.. baby.. baby.. uhhhh" on play.


The boat that rocked.

The stupidest part in one's life is when he already got this awesome-but-not-yet-watch movie in his external hard disk drive and after about half year wasting that one gigs on this awesome-but-not-yet-watch movie, he decided to call it off thus thrashes it to the bin.

Then suddenly, from a friend, he heard that it was an-awesome-but-not-yet-watch movie so he spent another hours downloading all the good shit he missed.

I was metaphoring.

You can off course replace that awesome-but-not-yet-watch movie with anything you have in mind. Girlfriend or maybe girlfriend or maybe girlfriend or whatever.

Suit yourself. Just don't fucked things up.


Death, I mean.

God is great. Had He mixed in too little oxygen, all His creatures would have suffocated. Had He mixed in too much, one spark would have the world on fire.

Ah, so that was God. Perfect as he always be. Beautiful as we couldn't ever see.

But I am human. His less than perfect creation. Cool but hot tempered, a bit off-charm, sucks at calculation and yeah, never will be great.

Physically speaking.


The eight o'clock news, the five hundred ringgit and How I Met Your Mother.

My all time favorite comedy show should be 'How I Met Your Mother'. I start watching the show few years back when my mom finally decided to let those Astro peeps have a fucking space on our roof.

She previously against this whole satellite television idea. For her, it was a waste of money and yeah, a distraction for us to concentrate on our study. I, myself wasn't so desperate for Astro at that time. I spent most of my day in campus than lying on those cold floor in front of that twenty something inches television.

Until when my brother told her that he will take care of the monthly payment, she finally gave in.

My mom, she was a pro-government. She's been supporting the red over white and green keris flag for a quite sometime.

Back at home, watching the eight o'clock news slot is a must. Even when she was at the kitchen preparing for our late dinner, changing the channel would be an invitation to have her nagging as our appetizer. She didn't really care about the clips show on the tv, she just want to hear the news.

And yeah, better tune the volume up.

So no football or whatever program on that twentieth hour mark. It's all news.

Another taboo is to never state your political ideology nor condemn her political party in front of her and in her house. Not that she wasn't democratic, she is, as far as I concerned but here, in her house we have to always live to her rules. Break it, then we have her nag for desert.

She had her reason. A reason that none of us dare challenge.

For her, it doesn't matter which flag we were into but the important thing is to never forget those who has done good to our family.

She was right. We will never forget.

It was January 2002, I was at home when my older brother got the offer from the Universiti Teknologi Petronas. The fees was around RM500 plus if I'm not mistaken. A reasonably cheap but for a school's janitor cum housewife cum the bread and butter of six, that was such a burden. A huge one. The traveling cost alone will costs her a fortune.

The palm oil industry wasn't helping. To surpass the price of RM300 per tone is a mission impossible and to collect more than one tone of palm oil per plucking session means you are one lucky bastard.

And the offer couldn't come at any time worst as the school session was just around the corner.

While many of her typical-Felda-minded-mates would have surrender and let those opportunity slipped, she wasn't. She as humble as she always be, going from this one person to another looking for no donation but a loan. She spent her night thinking of her next move, pouring yet another motherly tears.

And while none of those people works any wonder, this one man come to the rescue. He was at that time, the head chief of both the village and the United Malay National Organization party.

But that night, he wasn't just that. He was the savior.

Eight o'clock and he was right in front of my house with his blue aging Proton Saga. He's going to take my mum to see the state assembly representative, whom he have quite a close relationship with. Alongside him was another guy who was having the same problem. Only that his daughter was going for a top premier school.

Leaving the six of us with our dinner, skipping the news slot.

The gift, five hundred ringgit, it wasn't much, although according to mum it was her request to only have that amount of money. She told us even the driver called her idiot for failing to name a greater amount when she was asked.

But it was more than enough. With that five hundred ringgit, my mum and my brother took the night train going north for his registration day.

And I have my first taste of 'How I Met Your Mother'.


Sex, dream and jeans #5.

To have your girlfriend or boyfriend created a goddamn blog just because you were some awesome blogger is for fuck sake the lamest thing to do, in the world. It was like that reality show guy old shit stories. You know, he become a phenomenon and that ex-fiance of him suddenly jumped into the industry.

So where is she now? Writing some stupid biography again? It's not working. Never.

Wait. You don't even know he blogged? About you? Your never-ending love story??

Good. Fuckin go kill yourself now.



This past few weeks, they were all about rejections. I was left helpless but thank god, never alone. And as I wasn't in any power nor possession to say 'I won't take no for an answer', the best available solution is to always walk away and wait for the long awaiting acceptance.

If and I mean, if only there was one.

From the other end of the phone, she spilled yet another disappointment. Telling me to 'never grow up!'. I sunk myself deep under my thick red blanket.

This was once my fortress, this thick red blanket. It's where I hide myself from all the bad monsters I watched on the tube. It's the only place in the world where my Uncle's red eye vampire should never find me.

I am breathing another defeat but it is always good to feel home again.


The only constant is change.

To change things, you need both yourself and the world to cooperate.

Few days back, I was in front of my laptop, getting ready to jot my two hundred and one entry when my mind starts playing tricks on me. I ended up tweeting some friends and damn, seven hours of sleeping.

Sunday night and I was once again in front of my laptop with that same old objective. I even put my tweetdeck on an offline mode this time. It took a couple of hours for me to realize that I was instead watching the Anugerah Bintang Popular than hitting these lousy keyboard.

And now, with two datelines coming up on Friday, I frankly celebrating my success of finishing what was supposed to be done four days ago.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!! I need to sleep.