Et Ducit Mundum per Luce.

Ever heard the story about a hiker who nearly gives up his life when he fell into a dark cave all alone by himself? And he was just about to surrender (read:die) when a thick line of light shone over his tired legs; the light which bring him out of the dark cave and off course spare him his life.

Thanks god he has another evening to spend with his family.

I believe in hope. Always. That's why in most of my post, there's a puff of hope blows at the end of it. I strongly believe that in this world, everything has been destined for something. I believe that when our pragmatic world is about to die, there will be a light which would guide us.

Out at least.

And I will keep on believing.



Since last week I got these crazy feelings ; Nervous-Scared-End of the world-Loser. Yeah. I can't help myself from being such a negative-thinker. Cut the crap, I got my STPM result today. Have been a long time I haven't feel this kind of feeling.

Flashback when I was in form 5, I do nothing to get straight A's in my SPM. Fall asleep in Biology class, skipped Est class. Well, I can't stand with Mrs Yusma's chipmunk voice. Night before Add Math paper, I went out with my girls at Mapley and had a great Azwan Ali-ing at 2am. Seriously, I hate Math. Who the hell can stand with those fomulars? Ava Kadabra Pak Aji Mata Buta! And when the SPM result came out, nahh! Have no feeling at all. I came to school, get my slip and have fun with my girls. Loser~ boo me. To make me sounds more drop dead loser, my ex-classmate who got flying colours in their SPM now are futhering their studies in overseas. Me? haha. Lets just say I love Malaysia. and I love school uniform.

Back to 25 Feb 2010. I can say that I do satisfy with my result. LIAR. Ok I'm damn happy with my result and zillion thanks to HIM. Alhamdulillah. I can't believe it and I'm happy. Thank you thank youu Allah!

So as a blog partner Mr I'msosupernotcool and Dewajiwa, it will be my honour if you guys treat me a large set of Properaty (is it how you spell it?) Burger and Dinner Plate and Cadbury and Kinder Bueno and 1 lorry of Oreo and Zinger Tower and Chicken Mcdeluxe and Hawaian Chicken and..


Bow : Human learned.

I grabbed the silver arrow from it case and placed it on this rarely-use bow. I pointed it to this fat guy standing next to the phone booth. Hesitate at first but I somehow managed to kill all the inhibitions left in this human body of mine. Easily. I pulled the string, inhaled my lung some fresh air before releasing the arrow which sunk perfectly to his chest.

And the guy fell. Breathless.

Last night, when I was on my way home, I saw the fat guy soul wandered around my house. Unexpectedly waiting for me. Just when I got out of my car, this soul come and took a bow right in front of me. I gave him a look. A murder's look. And he started to cry. Begging me for something that I can't never do; give back his life that I took.

I rolled my eyes to another soul stand before the gates and grinned. "Fuck no"

We, human should 'find' ourselves this pleasant senses called humor. Or at least try to 'earn' one. You don't burn the whole book when there's only a page missing. It just, you just, well we just fucked up then. Beautifully.

And don't miss me because I'm damn ordinary.


Emptiness that bond.

An empty space somehow being ignored by us for some reason.
or avoided, on certain occasion.

Empty corner without eye-candy vase of flowers. empty Sunday without anything (meaningful) to do. a jar of loneliness without filling of attention. an empty heart without tender from someone special. or empty view of friendship portrait on the table of ignorance. auch. get the idea?

it's about the unused moment or space in our life.

I'm not surely know why but maybe the definition of empty mean so lame or sucks for somebody. but not for me nowadays. went through series of rough life plot for being nobody, I come to know that whether it's a physical space or emotion metaphor of spaces in our life, an empty space between something or some situation actually served a purpose on our twenty-four-seven life routine. for me, an empty space or distance is a some form of solution to embrace a situation that usually healed by (or related with) time. I tend to blame this part before and always thought that any empty or unused time or spaces is a wasted moment in my not so optimized life. but living a life filled with blames is such a pathetic life i can see. i try not to live that way. try OK?

An empty space in our room sometime balanced the crowded layout or loosen a tight perspective. an empty space between two heart sometimes heal any hurts - with the help of time. a given empty space between guilt or despair can bond the crack of feeling. or tie the loosen relation knots. or simply glued the gap of separated feeling caused by confused mind. sound simple?

Well, it is though. some even naturally done.

Talk about empty space in terms of feeling, surely all of us had experienced the feeling of missing something, or someone. missing something we used to hate or like. or lost in sense of feeling when not seeing, doing or what ever nature we used to before. and it come to no surprise when actually that very feeling is ignited by the empty space or distance we spared or went through. as a matter of fact: we ought to missed a subject when there's a distance in time or space existed.

When everything started went awry or no longer taste sweet, that space is where the air we need are at. the familiarity, the boring everyday-i-see-your-faken-face feeling can create some tense or negativity. the easily expected word, text or action executed can make the sweetness of a relationship, routine or nature turn sour if not dull. give it a break. let some distance flow in between to spark again the like-new feeling. people tend to appreciate us more when we no longer around or being away for some times or distance. no, i'm not talking about start doing it (creating a space or distance) but we should appreciate any space existed during any moment of life (love, friendship. etc). it's existed for a reason. appreciate it. it's like a chance to be grabbed and filled wisely (with something not related maybe?). carpe diem.

That is very why i'm now appreciated any empty space. for fate sake surely dude.

By the way, pardon my absence. i'm out of town lately so i can't post any update. anybody..aa, like missing me or something? heh. iggy that part. I just filling some space between us with some bonding attempt. does it work?


Just keep the L in those preferred word.

[this is a self-monologue entry]

Duh. It's V-day.

My girlfriend just asked me "How much do you love me today?" and i froze right there, not knowing what to answer. And by frozen I just missed my first kisses.

Don't worry. I am right. So just keep frozen.

Love for me is something subjective that you can't answer it by simply stating a quantity. Even if you managed to come up with one, it'll never satisfy those logic-minded who asked. A blue whale is nothing compare to two blue whales and two blue whales is one tiny pieces compare to the entire sea. And the list goes on pathetically.

And then there, across that packed road, I found this hot girl holding hand with this beast-face-guy. And I nodded it.

"Love is blind after all."

Fuck dude. Love is never blind like those old-and-odd-but-wise man says. It's us that are blinded by it. Love actually sees more than less. And because of it sees more attitudes, we refuse to see less. So humaniac.

No wonder this guy in front of me can't stop smiling.

The hell is going on with you? Love isn't all about smile, laugh or achieving a happily ever after ending. Love is more than that. Love too includes disappointment, broken heart and worst; death. Asks yourself what was the right reason Adam were sent to earth? What happened to Romeo when voicing his love to Juliet?

"I love my mom, my siblings, my friends and everybody around me that I prefer shared my happiness with them.."

"And I love you even with the fact that I can't stop myself from hurting you. Sorry."

So what's the point of fucking filling up my sunny-day in my washed out room to reason that I have no date for this fuckin V-day. I wanna go out. I wanna feel the world I'm living in. I can feel the love whispering me to come over. I wanna grab as much love as I can out there.

I will keep on walking. I will keep on looking. Keep on fighting. For me and just for err.. ME?


No I don't fuck him, sire.

Did you hear the news that I'm going to be Cuban's next president?

It was all over the news, blogs and newspapers in Cuba. I still have no idea on who and who or who spread the rumours since it's just a few minutes ago when this come to my known. But trust me this is so impossible. There's no way I'm gonna be a president there. Cuba is a communist country while I'm a fuckin socialist.

So what's the point of talking bout me when you never met me? Let alone playing this tepuk amai-amai with me.

What do you feel when somebody in the other side of your world, met not even once, talking bad about you, telling the entire region that you were some kind of dumb ass dude messing with her life, a loser, backstabber and etcetera. Happy? You gotta be kiddin me. You gonna start uttering the 'f' and 'b' words till the bad air is all clear.

Wait. What's 'b' word stand for? Bucks?

In life, there's a time when you don't have to put yourself in every single thing you heard and watched. Not that you don't care but you don't have to care too much. More when it comes to thing that piecely related to your life.

That's why I hate watching Malaysian news. That's why I hate sitting with some shitte who do care much about his unsolved country problems than his solvable math homeworks.

After all, being a Cuban president is not Joshly me. And Fergie became the first woman?

Where is the love then? Wattafuck.

Oh. I'm working on this 'love' article that may due on this V-day. It's still in a 'maybe' condition. Teaser.

Girls, just play cool. ok?

oh my god! oh my god! look! 
he's coming! so hawtt!
ouchhhh. damn sexayyy!
i'll do anything for him babe! anything!
uuu, look babe! 
he is looking at me okayy!
yeaa, me of course! not you.

If, one of my girlfriend act like this, i'll slap her face without even an ounce of hesitation. haha. ok i meant it.



My old man once said the hardest part is to start on something.

At that time, I was six and in the middle of my long cry. I'm in a verge of my first away from my parent since my baby days - entering the TADIKA. Being the youngest from three siblings, I'm the most naive on almost everything. Such a complex lines of wisdom, I could not figure it out what the hell was it mean and tend to ignore it instantly. I keep on sang my crying song.

When I was sixteen, I realized the meaning.

One of the Malay Literature text book, written there were the very exact word of my old man. By the time my teacher ask for question from us it was me who raised hand for it. She explained the wisdom leaving me nodding like I am still six years old. Then only the rush of feeling of my father's love bite me bit by bit. He really have a way to build up my anticipation. It is only I am just too young that time. Silently, I pray God to extend my time with my old man. Love you father.

Now, I start everything with that wisdom.

Even with this new task. Task? What task? Tsk.. It is not a task. It is a band contribution right? A collaboration idea of sharing thoughts. I guessed. It is an honour to be invited by you-know-who. So then, greetings all. I'm the another author here. The new one also. Am i fashionably late?


I was in Keretapi Tanah Melayu a.k.a KTM when I saw this 'yellow' girl. Yeah. Yellow. She's wearing yellow shirt, yellow hair clip, yellow handbag and yellow shoes. Luckily, blueblack jeans. I wonder how she got the confidence to wear all yellow-things. Clap! Clap! I adore that negro (super-blackie) girl seriously. I was about to come nearer to say 'hey I like your colour!' when she stared at me and...
Ok. Cut the crap.

Errr, hi? I'm new. author. here.


Josh Duhamel wannabe and a welcome note.

I opted to cut my hair last week so I went to the nearby salon owned by this she-male next to my university. It was my favorite one. Just imagine at just twelve ringgit I can get my hair wash, shampoo and cut. I even got free hair care tips. The hell with their sex status.

While waiting for my turn, I browse through the hairstyle magazines offered, looking for the right hairstyle which will suites me. I've read that the 2010 will be a year of spiky and short hair. The Josh Duhamel and Adam Levine-type of hairstyle. So I decided to have one. And I was lucky when there's an old mag showing Josh picture in it.

And the process went on. Cut. Washed. Shampooed.

As it finished I looked into the mirror and damn I was surprised. I really look like Josh. Much better I think. I felt like I was a new guy with a new spirits. I paid the bill Joshly and walk out of the salon. Joshly. It took me not more than ten steps to realize that even with this new hair and new looks, deep down there, it was still me. And always be.


Started today, this Fuck The Super Not Cool blog is no longer a one-man-blog. I felt that I won't have that much time with this blogging session, so I decided to invite few friend to share their brilliant thoughts bout how wonderful this world is.

I have this two interesting writers who have agreed to share their thoughts on this blog. I think it's gonna be more interesting now. And of course more adventurous since it's gonna be three minds instead of one. No more same old shit from me again and again. Haha.

Big welcome for them. Clap.


Fearytales : A short story.

I watch how easy all the butterflies fly. So I find myself a wing. And I jump from the twenty five story building thinking that life was some kind of fairytale where I can live happily ever after.

And now, they're all around me, praying for my dire heart to keep on pumping. Keep on living.

Who's to blame?