If only.

I was watching Chelsea vs Burnley at the Khulafa Bistro with some friends when this guy in his true blues clues shirt and his 'wow' rank chick came sat in our table. He's a friend of a friend of mine. I actually didn't have a so call nice relationship with him. He's been my silence-enemy since my diploma time. And I think it stays that way till now.

It was back in my diploma time. He, being in the famous course in my Uni was quite a show off type of person. Nope. I have no problem with his ambitious Evo wannabe Waja or vice versa. I don't give a shit about it. What I do give a shit is that he is fuckin show off in everything. There's two major occasions that I still remember.

The first one is during my first time knowing him. We were both in our first semester where we have to attend the recently-popular Biro Tata Negara camp. He was in my group. And to make thing worse or better I'm not sure, we were the only guy in that group. And for some unsure reason I have been selected as the team captain. Rather than him.

Maybe that upset him that he kept on criticizing me during the whole program. He kept on showing the "I should be the captain" attitudes to all my fellow group members. Oh. I don't mind taking critics just like I don't mind having competitors. It's just I do appreciate it if it come in a good way. Not when the font of my team logo been a bigger issue than what should my team logo be?

The second one is during our football friendly. Since his course is famous than mine, there were lots of hot-ties came to watch them playing even with the fact that my team is far way better in this kicking thingy. Being in a men games, it's normal to be tackled and to be brought down. But this guy was different. He kept on shouting and uttering some uneasy word to my fellow teammates which for some reason could spark an uncontrolled situations.

"Dude. Come on. It's just a fucking friendly match."

But tonight was different. We talked and chat and laughed the whole night. He even talked about how he remember our little time in mud when our group failed to finish the tasks given. The stupid but cute girls in my group name Suzi. And not to forget how he missed kick what should have been a consolation goal for his team in that friendly match.

If only I start my first day with this so-hatred friend with this kind of laugh few years back when we were in that same group. If only he didn't be that emotional and that too-show-offing in that football match. And if only George W. Bush starts his first chats with Saddam Hussein in a nice candle light dinner with the wonderful view of Eiffel Tower.

If only.


What are you looking at? Why are you asking? Why can't you just leave me alone?

Because. I care. Remember?

Owh. Such a sweet talker.

I write my entry in white this time since I'm running out of black ink. So sorry for any trouble I've caused. Cheers.

And have a fucking good day.


Why are the flowers so red and yet beautiful?

There was a sweet girl named Jenny. While wandering around around the park one evening, she met Eric who own a music store just three block away from her house. Such a love at a first sight, she quickly fall for this tall guy.

She then start visiting Eric's music store in order to be around him. She bought one cd everyday during all her visits. Up until the day when Eric noticed it has been a while since Jenny last visit to his music store.

On his way back he decided to stop by at Jenny house. He was shocked when Jenny's mother, Mrs Kent told him that Jenny died from a brain tumor she suffered months ago. She then walk him to Jenny's room.

Much to his surprise for finding out his pictures were all over the wall with all the romantic lines along. Mrs Kent then told him that Jenny have fall for him for quite a time before she was analyzed with a brain tumor. The doctor confirmed that she only has few days to live.

Eric looked at the computer desk where all the cd bought from his store were kept. Look like Jenny didn't even open the cd. He grab one of the cd and tore the cover apart. A card drop as the cd case open.

"Hi. I'm Eric. Always see U here in my store. Really wanna noe U. :p"

I dedicate this to all he and she who still hesitate to express their feeling to their loves one. Remember. You'll never know what you've lost until you lost it. And you'll never know what love is until you taste love.


The fuck I'm being mellow all of a sudden? Just to spare you a secret. I'm so good at making girls fall in love with me but to make them love me? Never. Maybe I'm just another ordinary guy trying damn hard to achieve 'perfectness' in life.

Why are the flowers so red and yet beautiful?


Ok. It should be peace. I just love being different.

I do write my so call 'inspired' word here.


Everything's magic.

I met my old buddy while I was watching Spy Next Door last night. He's quite a guy now. Nice haircut. Branded shirt. And a hot girlfriend. I mean real hottie. The 'wow!' type. Damn.

The last time I met him was back in 2004. Rock the world 5 if I not mistaken. But he's not the rock guy anymore. From what I saw at least. No more tore jeans, no more jack purcell and absolutely no more messy hair.

He has changed.

And he tell me "dude, you still the same" or in Malay "kau sama macam dulu la". No. I do change. A lot.

I think I've changed a lot through this whole years. From bad to worse to good to OK to the feel like wanna throw myself from twenty five story building to live like no tomorrow to oh shit my life suck and to bla bla. Too much to tell.

Just now, one of my housemate told me, he met my ex-classmate in Cheras. Precisely in Q-Bistro. With some inappropriate persons to hang with. Prejudice. Shit. A bit surprise since he was one of the hottest guy in my course before.

OK maybe he has changed.

And my housemate here has changed too. He started smoking last week after spending twenty two years of healthy life.

Nice huh?

Oh. And Spy Next Door sucks.

And if you find a guy selling perfumes at the nearby mamak stall, don't forget to acknowledge him. Or at least say hi. He might be the next Prime Minister.


Lots of lucks. What a fuck.


Lesson learned ; Think.

Brain is one thing that differ us from other creatures. Brains give us the ability to think. To choose. Mind if it right or wrong.

If you are using your brain when making a decision and unfortunate for you that decision sucks. No biggie. You at least use that given ability. You appreciate it.

I remember one of my buddy quote this; Stupidity is not a gift, it's a choice.

And I totally agreed with him.

You are not stupid for failing your math paper. You maybe don't get lucky. But you are stupid when you choosed to be at a cinema watching Adnan Sempit instead of spending time with your Casio calculator.

You heard a news. Watch it on the tube. Start to come out with conclusion. And then take action.

Stop. Where's think?


You heard a news. Watch it on the tube. Think. Start to come out with logic conclusion. And then take reasonable action.

Ha. Now it's look better and longer.

Just don't think too much. Thinking too much will cause damages to your life. Thinking of unimportant things especially. There's times in life where you should choose to play the role of a little ignorance freak rather than a caring bitch. Example?


Kau tahu maksud aku kan?



Thank god I'm alive. Kicking? Nah. Tomorow maybe.

Miss me? Duh. Okay. I know I am nobody to be misses.

It's been seven days since my last post. One week. A new record. Nothing happen by the way. It's just me running my whole week without this awesome friend called "internet". And it's damn bored.

Now? The streamyx guys came this morning and in just a split second here I am writing my sixty second post for this blog. Exaggerating. It's a bit awkward you know to be back writing. I might have lost the skills.

Did you guys watch the AJL finale? Ok lame. Next topic.


Selfish is one word that really bothered me these whole day. I am quite a selfish guy for your information. I don't prefer someone walk into my life and start bla bla. Be it good or bad thing. They just really get on my nerves.

It's not that I rather be alone. I love making friends. I love hanging out with friends on the weekends. I don't mind bumping into a new faces, handshakes and start knowing each other, phone no changes and so on. No problem at all.

It's only happen on a few occasions. For example I'm selfish enough to give my seat to others in the full-packed bus. I hate letting my friends copy my assignment knowing that they'll get a highest score than me. And I too hate lending my friends some dollars when I got quite an amount in my wallet.

What? You aren't selfish? Really? Good to hear that.


I breakup with my girlfriend just now. So funny that I can't stop laughing. Hahaha.

Just a quick update. This stupid brood-banned is killing me.

I always saw/read peoples console each other asking them to stop crying and move on and bla bla. Wait. What's wrong with crying? Crying for me is the best way to express your feelings about the things you are facing. And it's relaxing too. Do try.

Move on? No problem. Just move on after you cry.

They always said laughter is the best medicine but how can you laugh when you are in this kind of situations. How can you smile knowing the fact that your parent just split up two hours ago? How can you laugh to a friend loss news? Nonsense.

And for not crying is like denying. Escape. An escape from reality. A total facts. Hypo.

Owh I'm not a crybaby by the way. This is just my humble opinion. Ignore it.

And I'm thinking of saying a fuck word out loud.



Pillow talk : Beautiful nightmare.

I just finish YM with some of my blogger mate. They are so fun and so nice to talk with. Sad that I missed the small gathering they organized before.

Honestly I was a bit surprised to know about their background. Their age especially. Yup they are both older than me. Both were like in their thirty or something. And both having the great times of their life I guess. Except for being single. Haha.

Knowing this fact make me thinking of how young I am to talk about life. To tell someone about the do and don't things.

Being a blogger was one thing never cross my mind until I found the articles bout how an unknown individual make his way to the parliaments just by this typing stuffs. A politician name Jeff Ooi. That's when I start knowing blog, Che Det, Raja Petra and else. So political rite?

When I start blogging, it was all about err.. I can't even remember. So uninteresting I will say.

This blog was a bit like my side project. Suppose to be fill with all my angst and the f words. A complete unnamed. Unknown. I do have another. A Malays one. No. You don't need to look for it. It so infamous that sometimes nobody view it. Compare to this one. Erghh.

But this turns out to be different. Inspirational. Motivator? Like a good looking guy who wrote based on his happy and sad experiences and inspired the others with his words. Gave this guy hopes, help him get up from his downfall and then asks this girls to move on and forget the past.

What the fuck?

I may sound like a wise guy, but in truth I was nothing. My life sucks for god sake. Big time.

Why the fuck?

Last night I was having a horrific nightmare. I walked a group of people into a room. It was like a tour and I'm the tourist guide. I was in front. All of them seem so happy. Talking and smiling and laughing. It wasn't long before the room turns to red. An unknown guy (I'm not sure whether he is from the group or not) start to attack us with his sword.

Bloods everywhere. Sloshing sounds everywhere. Bodies everywhere.

That's when I awake. And that's when I realized that life isn't just about saying take care babe and have a good day. It's about saying how are you today? too.

Owh I'm going back to Shah Alam this evening. So expect not to see me write for a few days.

Do take care everyone. Have a good day.



I am the next Bill Gates. Care to give me a ride?

I'm back. I'm back with blogging.

I was a bit busy lately. I'm out of town for the last couple of day. Really out of town. Back to my home-not-town to meet my beloved mother, ask for her blessing since the new semester has started.

Yes I'm a student. You heard me right.

My new semester kick start today but I'm nowhere near Shah Alam. Still hanging out trying hard to depart from this two month holiday and still looking for the lost-study-mood. Duh.

Coming back to Shah Alam means I will be out of this network. The bungalow I rent there didn't have an internet connection for the time being but I'm working on it. So less connection mean less time with you guys. I don't think I will have much time to do blogwalking and reply your comment after this. So sorry for that.

This is what? my first entry in the new year. Not really the last entry supposed to be the opening of 2010 but due to the different in time-line, it just happen to be last year.

Ok. Enuff with my babbling. Back with the story.

I was driving home last night on this one way road when two strangers stop me. Asking for a ride. I was with a friend at that particular time. I wouldn't have stop if I was alone. Haha. Just the two of us which make two empty seat at the back.

Two empty backseat for a two rideless stranger. Nice. What a coincidence.

On the right side of the road was an old guy in his thirty, dressed in his checked shirt with a messy hair and a whisky bottle in hand. An alcoholic. While on this left side was a twenty something 'nerdy' with big glasses, tidy hair and lappy in hand, jotted something on his small books.

I was in the state of choosing when my friend unlocked the backdoor and invited them in.

Metaphoric? No I'm not.