Feeling this.

I finally back in KL after my one week leave. It wasn't a work leave actually, it was on my mom request. She need to head somewhere north and I need to baby-sit our four beloved cats. Yes, cats. And it's cute, I know. Especially when I have to decline a job-interview offer for that.

The journey back to KL was quite a valuable one I would say. I sat next to this show off malay girl whom I can't hardly take my eyes off her chest every times she bowed reaching for her bag. Pardon me but I do enjoy pretty things.

So the week leave, it has an amazing effects on me as I supposed it should. The pro's and the con's.

I didn't get that bitch number and I still got this buzz for tits. Like after a week spending the night with only cats.

God bless me!

Blewjob.

With October's coming really fast, I've listed what should be my monthly budget. A new shoes going to cost me around three hundred bucks. And then the t-shirts. Those jumper. My daily broadband and my mobile phone internet payment.

Girly.

Oh well. I need a fucking job. Period.

Tank.

A words from an old friend knock me back down to reality. He pointed out how most of us growing up becoming what our society want us to be instead of what we desire to do. He said that's why most of us didn't really have the life to cherish for and for some, it was the end of their exciting life.

I gave him a nod. And a smile.

This big lad, he is one hell of a thinker now. Previously a decent student, a college dropout and a police wanted.

The Supertramp guy.

"I read somewhere... how important it is in life is not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong." - Chris McCandless.

Thing that I afraid the most in my life is to disappoint those who were closely related to me. Those who were with me during my ups and downs. Those who hope that I can at least lend them a hand when they were in need of one.

Most and most of the time, I failed. And disappointment it is.

Sometime I got this thought of leaving gunning through my head. You know like pack up all my things, buy myself a ticket to north (or maybe south) and then gone. With neither goodbye kisses nor 'have a safe trip' cards.

Leaving behind, everyone and everything that I once face. And then start a new life. On my own and all alone.

Ah alone, one thing I guess I never will be good at.

Devouring the indifferent.

That night, when the lady threw the glasses away on to the floor, telling the world how un-class we are compared to them, I thought it was really really immoral. From her so called classy people, I expected a good if not a better behavior.

But I had to admit, since the first day that I got myself here, the only thing lacking between us is always class.

Here, we tend to think with our fist first then with our heads. We have our meal next to a garbage placement, behind those pub where transsexual was never a different. We even shared our tables with them. Always, we made a brag about a girl ass. We live the nights more than the days. We had an argument of an unimportant thing.

We kicked each each others butts and feelings.

I got lots of picture in my hard drive which I won't bother sharing. From a birthday celebrations to a farewell party to the recent Aidilfitri's open house. Most of them taken by our drunken photographer. He is Indian and he nearly burnt his upper lip trying to light up one of the candles with his mouth.

Yeah, we too enjoy a birthday party with cakes and candles.

Arsenalisation; Bring it on.

My friend once quote this on his twitter 'the worst thing that happen to me is becoming an Arsenal fan'. I've got to get agreed with him. Especially after that 8-2 thrashing at the theater of dream last weekend.

Last season was the worst of many. We lost a 4-0 lead to only a fucking single point. Then we got what could be our first potential trophy in six years stolen right under our nose to a fucking relegated club and by a stupid misunderstanding. And later, we never look like to be able to recover. A couples of losing streaks led us from a title challengers to only a champions league spot.

And we became the laughing stock since.

Sunday was the wake up call for everyone. The boss, actually. I do expecting a lose before the game but never with that kind of margin. It did hurt surely watching the team being outplayed and demolished like that but I, to be honest was quite please with the outcome;

two experience defenders, two creative midfielders and a hot shot Asian striker. Now look, who's smiling.